I’ve been MIA!

And I’m sorry. I first shattered the screen of my phone. Then got it repaired.

And then a few days later – late last week – I dropped my phone in the toilet. Ugh. Long story.

Nonetheless, I finally have a new phone today and will try to catch up on everyone this weekend! (My cell phone is the only way I use WordPress.)

It’s nice to be connected again! Felt like I was in the dark ages!

Hope you all are well! xo

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Captain – One Year Later

Captain and I recently celebrated our one year anniversary. It’s hard to believe that what started as a connection on Match.com has turned into a really wonderful and healthy relationship. 

 
Captain was married once before. His ex-wife suffers from bipolar disorder.  He took care of her and they loved each other a great deal.  At some point, though, she was out of town and had an affair/one-night stand during a manic episode there. She, of course, regretted the indiscretion and hid it for some time.  

Well, we all know the saying: The truth always comes out.  It crushed him when he found out. That was the one and only thing he said he’d never forgive. Captain immediately filed for divorce. The marriage lasted about 3 years and she probably hid her secret for almost a year. He couldn’t forgive her infidelity. He felt as if he’d been played for a fool.

Fidelity, loyalty and trust are important traits for him. The lessons he learned from his divorce have given him a no-nonsense view on what to expect and how to be in a relationship. He’s never played games with me and holds himself to as high of standards as he holds me. I appreciate this and easily follow suit.   

  
Most of you know my story and how my husband, Grayheart, broke my heart.  The separation, albeit tough, was not the most devastating aspect of the whole situation since I’d been unhappy for a long time.  It was the start of the emotional affair with his co-worker whore/later-turned-girlfriend, Raggedy, and the sneakiness that really did me in.  

  
I was pushed out of my comfy, predictable life and all of a sudden thrown into a whirlwind of uncertainties and emotions. I didn’t think I would fall in love again and I, sure as shit, did not think I’d ever trust a man.  I figured I’d casually date for years until one day I’d meet a quality guy I’d like to spend time with. And then the universe knocked me on my ass and connected me with a man that made my heart skip a beat.  

Captain’s past experiences, kindness and love for me really have given me faith.  I believe that there might actually be good and valiant men out there that are capable of cherishing a deserving woman.  I trust this man more with my feelings than I ever have any man.  I grew up hearing that relationships were incredibly hard work.  And so I tolerated so much crap from Grayheart thinking that’s what marriage was. But what if they don’t have to be that hard?  

What if good relationships were meant to navigate the tough times together and keep each other lifted when the outside world threw challenges at you?  

What if you could be two different people but co-exist well together without bringing each other down?

I had moments like that during my marriage but the majority of it was weighed down by Grayheart’s negativity.  But I trucked on… because that’s what marriage was?

I am wiser now, I’d like to think. I value things differently and am a better partner as a result of a failed marriage. I’d like to think that Captain and I work so well together because we both appreciate the things we previously took for granted. I promised myself that I will never put my relationship in cruise control. 

So, if there’s one good thing that’s come out of this experience, it’s not just finding but really appreciating a man like Captain. 

 

How did we celebrate our one year anniversary? We re-did our first date. It was just as magical. This time, though, I took him home with me! 😉

  
Thanks for letting me be gushy. Lol! Here’s to love! 🍾
XO

Sending over my MSA today

I am sending over my attorney’s revised Marital Separation Agreement (MSA) today to Grayheart. There aren’t a ton of changes to the document but I did ask for one more year of “bridge-the-gap” alimony. 

 
We originally agreed that this school year (til Sept 2016), I would continue to be a stay-at-home mom while working part time as a substitute teacher. He pays child support and covers the mortgage as my spousal support. I will go back to working full time in September. 

I’m now asking him for one more year of half the cost of the mortgage. I don’t think it’s unreasonable. (Frankly, I could and should ask for more.) But I have all sorts of conflicted feelings towards alimony. Anyway, I thought this would be a good way to make sure I properly get back on my feet.

(As a side note, I’m also a bit nervous about going back to work full-time – after being gone for 3 years – and juggling the kids as a single parent. I know I’ll be fine but it’s still a bit intimidating.) 

I think Grayheart will scoff and be resistant at first for the additional year but I think we’ll be able to figure it out. At least I hope so. 

I’m a procrastinator with a capital P. I’ve been dragging my feet on this divorce paperwork for some time because I want to avoid the conflict that will likely arise as a result of it.

I hate fighting and I hate how anxious and depressed I get about it. 

I hate asking for things. Especially money. 

Wish me luck. 

xo