Captain and I recently celebrated our one year anniversary. It’s hard to believe that what started as a connection on Match.com has turned into a really wonderful and healthy relationship.
Captain was married once before. His ex-wife suffers from bipolar disorder. He took care of her and they loved each other a great deal. At some point, though, she was out of town and had an affair/one-night stand during a manic episode there. She, of course, regretted the indiscretion and hid it for some time.
Well, we all know the saying: The truth always comes out. It crushed him when he found out. That was the one and only thing he said he’d never forgive. Captain immediately filed for divorce. The marriage lasted about 3 years and she probably hid her secret for almost a year. He couldn’t forgive her infidelity. He felt as if he’d been played for a fool.
Fidelity, loyalty and trust are important traits for him. The lessons he learned from his divorce have given him a no-nonsense view on what to expect and how to be in a relationship. He’s never played games with me and holds himself to as high of standards as he holds me. I appreciate this and easily follow suit.
Most of you know my story and how my husband, Grayheart, broke my heart. The separation, albeit tough, was not the most devastating aspect of the whole situation since I’d been unhappy for a long time. It was the start of the emotional affair with his co-worker whore/later-turned-girlfriend, Raggedy, and the sneakiness that really did me in.
I was pushed out of my comfy, predictable life and all of a sudden thrown into a whirlwind of uncertainties and emotions. I didn’t think I would fall in love again and I, sure as shit, did not think I’d ever trust a man. I figured I’d casually date for years until one day I’d meet a quality guy I’d like to spend time with. And then the universe knocked me on my ass and connected me with a man that made my heart skip a beat.
Captain’s past experiences, kindness and love for me really have given me faith. I believe that there might actually be good and valiant men out there that are capable of cherishing a deserving woman. I trust this man more with my feelings than I ever have any man. I grew up hearing that relationships were incredibly hard work. And so I tolerated so much crap from Grayheart thinking that’s what marriage was. But what if they don’t have to be that hard?
What if good relationships were meant to navigate the tough times together and keep each other lifted when the outside world threw challenges at you?
What if you could be two different people but co-exist well together without bringing each other down?
I had moments like that during my marriage but the majority of it was weighed down by Grayheart’s negativity. But I trucked on… because that’s what marriage was?
I am wiser now, I’d like to think. I value things differently and am a better partner as a result of a failed marriage. I’d like to think that Captain and I work so well together because we both appreciate the things we previously took for granted. I promised myself that I will never put my relationship in cruise control.
So, if there’s one good thing that’s come out of this experience, it’s not just finding but really appreciating a man like Captain.
How did we celebrate our one year anniversary? We re-did our first date. It was just as magical. This time, though, I took him home with me! 😉
Thanks for letting me be gushy. Lol! Here’s to love! 🍾