2015 wrap up

I know everyone has been inundated with posts about some blogger’s year in review. This one will be no different. But this post is more for me than anything or anyone else. I felt the need to go back and see how far I’d come from 2014 to help me set new goals for 2016. 

I’d worked on a vision board in 2014 and 2015. 

2015 Vision Board

 
So here’s what I’m proud of in 2015:

• I survived separation from my husband of 9 years. (I’d like to be divorced by February 2016.)
• Not only did I survive but I’m better than before.
• I reached my goal weight of 137 lbs, beat it by 4 lbs at the peak of my fitness routine and then roughly stayed at it the majority of the year (until the holidays hit!) I’d lost almost 30 lbs since I started in August 2014. (My goal is to lose again those darn stubborn 5 lbs!)
• I blogged on a regular basis and have gained a number of great friends, garnered outstanding support from said friends and allowed myself to use it as a therapeutic and positive outlet.
• I saw my therapist, DD, on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. Don’t know what I would’ve done without her. Her advice has been golden.
• I online dated. I spoke to a number of guys, enjoyed the flattering not attention and went on dates with two different men. Both were wonderful but one particularly stood out. My Captain.
• I found amazing love with Captain. Go figure. Sounds so incredibly sappy. If you’d asked me if it was possible after being with the same man since I was 21 yrs old (I’m now 35), I would’ve laughed at you. But Captain was too incredible to ignore and was everything I could ask for. I didn’t think it was possible to find someone so good hearted and fall so deeply for that person. 
• I ran a half marathon and just completed another one January 2016. 
  

  Miami half marathon

   
• I did my 10 mile race in Paris!
• I did two mud races! The Rugged Maniac and just recently did a  Spartan (sprint) race!
• I traveled a good bit. This has always been my passion. I just kind of let it flounder once I had kids. I went to Disney three times, Austin, TX, Key West, Paris, Amsterdam, Munich and the Romantic Road in Germany, Steamboat Springs, CO. 
• I went snorkeling and fishing!
• We sold our house in Virginia and did well. I put that money towards paying off all my debt. I’m broke now but am debt free.
• I began budgeting myself and am in control of my own money. (Grayheart handled all finances when I became a stay at home mom.)
• I did laser hair removal for my legs, bikini and underarms. I figured that was my treat to myself rather than going the typical get-your-boobs-done route. 
• I re-arranged furniture and changed decor in my house. Out with Grayheart and in with things that represent me. 
• I started substitute teaching and really enjoy it. I might consider teaching as a new profession. (I’ve been offered a few jobs since I’ve been here but I’m waiting til next fall to start anything serious.)

My 2015 focus was about finding myself because I really felt lost when my husband left me. I made it a goal to figure out what made me happy – besides motherhood – and make more time for myself.  

 I don’t know who exactly I am yet but I know that I’ve determined I’m stronger than I ever thought. There are sad moments but I think I am overall a happier person. I don’t feel as if I’m being weighed down by another person. 

As a result of this me time and healthier living and a more interesting life, I think I’ve become a better mother. I have more energy and appreciation for my time with my kids. I cherish every second with them since I’m not with them 24/7.

   

My journey will continue since I feel like the investment is paying off. I hope to have an even better 2016 and am excited about completing my next vision board!

Thank you all again for helping me through this year. There aren’t enough words to describe how instrumental the WordPress community has been to my healing.

In peace and love,

Athena 

XO

  

I have a boyfriend

I’m late on this…

Captain spent New Year’s Eve and day with me and the kids. 

We had dinner together, lit sparklers and watched a movie together. The kids had a great time and it was a nice, easy evening. It was one of the first times Captain had spent a lot of time with my children. (We usually keep it at a couple or few hours at a time to not overwhelm anyone.)

   
 

The kids really like him. He’s sweet and playful with them and he’s their shiny, new toy. Spending a couple of days for long periods of time really went over well with them.

A couple of days later, my daughter (6 yr old) – out of nowhere – walked into the bathroom and expressed concern about me being divorced from her dad. She lamented that she was worried for me, that I’d be alone, etc. 

 
So I tried to reason with her and explain that even if I was single, I’d never be “alone” because I always had them and my other family and friends.  That didn’t work. She couldn’t put into words that she meant in a romantic way. 

So then I tried a different tactic. That one day I’d have a boyfriend and maybe even in the very distant future I’d get married.

I literally saw a lightbulb go off in her head! 

  
“What about Mr. Captain?!” she asked with a sneaky smile.

I was semi prepared for this. 

So I explained that Captain recently asked me to be his girlfriend but that I wanted their input before I responded to him.

We gathered my 3 year old son – this is all in the bathroom, by the way – and I rehashed what I discussed with her.

  
They were delighted to give their opinion. They excitedly supported the idea and wanted to call him right away to say “yes!”

So once we were done and ready, we piled into the car and called Captain on Bluetooth. (I’d already text him to prepare him for the call.)

The kids practically yelled it out before I did but we were all happy to share with him that I accepted. I would now be his girlfriend. 

Smiles all around… 😊

*********************************

It’s nice now to be able to hold hands and show affection in front of the kids. Maybe this time ’round they’ll actually see what a healthy and loving relationship looks like. ❤️

Miami Half Marathon Complete!

I did the Miami Half Marathon this morning and am so happy! 

6:00 AM Start time!

 

I hadn’t trained as rigorously as my half last year in Disney so I’m really glad I made it!  I ran with a girlfriend of mine who does 3:1 intervals. We completed the 13.1 miles in 2 hrs 30 min. This was my first time trying interval running and I enjoyed it. We skipped some of the walks towards to make up for lost time at the beginning of the race.

It was a beautiful run- a bit windy – as the weather was perfect. Very chilly for us at 45F but I am not complaining! Certainly better than the blizzard that’s hit the Northeast! 

Got to see the sunrise over the bay and cruiseships

 

I feel like I can now consider myself a runner. I have three long distance races under my belt and am going to keep on!   

Who says you can’t be better after divorce? 💪🏽

Happy Sunday! 👑

XO

Athena 

Grayheart & Kids in Disney

For the last several years, my family and I have done the Disney World marathon weekend since we are annual pass holders. I even went last year even though Grayheart and I were estranged.  (I did my first half marathon last year.)

Typically, one of us would do a race while we have the kids do a kids race.

  
This year, the Disney marathon weekend fell on Grayheart’s weekend with the kids. He invited me to join them. I thought about it. And declined. (I’m not that crazy again.)

And then I panicked thinking he would be alone in Disney world with our 3 yr old son and 6 yr old daughter. 

So I told him that I actually preferred that there be another adult with them. Raggedy Ann.

Yup, I actually asked that the woman who was a part of my breakup with my husband to attend Disney World with my kids.

Why? Because another set of eyes would ensure my kids would be properly watched, cared for, help with bathroom breaks and be the even number for any rides. 

And so she joined them this past weekend for it. And I was okay.

  
I didn’t overthink it. Because if I allowed myself to, I’d probably get worked up and upset for no reason.

Instead, I’m grateful my kids had fun and  back in one piece, safe and sound.

 

Disney Kids Race

 
I’m doing good, friends. I’m really coming to peace with my new life. I’m not fully there yet but I’m getting there. 🙂

XO

PS –  It was glorious, though, hearing Grayheart remark that he has no idea how I did it by myself last month because it was exhausting even with two adults watching over them.

Heh! 

Exercise as important as Food or Sleep?

Exercise is at the top of my list of resolutions for 2016. Nothing original about that as it seems to be high in everyone’s list. 

  
But something really clicked in my mind the other day. 

Captain gave me a bit of a lecture how I don’t really do much for myself since I’m always busy taking care of everyone else. And I responded that I now do much more for myself than ever before. I go to the gym regularly and get to spend quality time with him. These are now my outlets.

But he responded that the gym is not “me” time as much as it’s a necessity.

Wha????

  
I never really thought of exercise as important as sleep or food or water. 

Mind blown.

  
I always felt as if getting to the gym was strictly a way to treat myself. A luxury, of sorts. 

And I used to get pissed as hell that Grayheart made it a top priority for him to exercise while I was at home (fat and bitter) taking care of our kids. He complained that I put my health last. 

Truth be told, I was always so exhausted at the end of a long workday and dealing with the kids that thinking of getting to the gym at 8 or 9 pm was ludicrous. I’d miss out on time with the kids. Plus, who was going to clean the house? And when were we going to have quality time together as a couple? And sleep! Is it any good if you’re going to sleep at midnight? Ugh. All too familiar complaints of families with small children.

  

Perspective shift now.

My kids are now a bit older and don’t require the constant attention they needed as babies or toddlers. I drop them off at the childcare center in the gym and do my routine. And I feel so much better now that I’m thinner and physically strong again. 

  
Happy and healthy mom = Happy family!
So now the real question is… what will I be doing solely for myself?

XO

Christmas with the kids

The two week Christmas break from school for the kids (my 3 yr old son & 6 yr old daughter) was split with the first week being with my ex, Grayheart, while the second week was spent with me. 

That first week I traveled to Colorado and came back Christmas Eve. (Captain headed out of town to visit his family for Christmas.) The kids did dinner that evening with me and my family; what we call Noche Buena. Grayheart picked the kids up late that night and they stayed over at his house. They woke Christmas morning at his home. They called me over and I got to watch them open presents there. (Raggedy was out of town visiting her own family.)  

My princess of power

 
Then I took the kids home with me while Grayheart followed behind and had them open gifts at my house. We had a really nice time all together as a family. It was nostalgically nice. Grayheart was pleasant, we chatted in a friendly manner and none of it felt fake. I then took the kids (on my own) to abuela’s house (aka my mom) to then do gift exchanges there. 

 

My little He-man

   
The kids went back to Grayheart’s house late afternoon. Captain drove back and met me at my home so we could celebrate Christmas evening together. We exchanged gifts* and then watched Star Wars at the movies! (Which was amaze-balls!) 

Captain celebrating his new GoPro

 

All things considered, it was a wonderful Christmas! There was lots of positive energy, everyone was cheerful and we did a great job sharing our children. 

*I’m going to gush a second…Captain was amazing! He got me a few books he thought I’d love, a mani/pedi certificate to use on a day he is working, salsa lessons for us to do together, paintball day and archery lessons! He’s paid such close attention to me…it had me in tears. It’s been so long since I’ve been loved like this. And I don’t quite think I’ve ever been loved better.

  
Hope you all enjoyed the holidays! 

(Please excuse the mess in my home! Eek!)

😘