Thanksgiving = Success!

Thanksgiving was a success!

Captain joined us for dinner and he got along soooo well with my family (i.e. my mom, stepfather, sister, grandparents, stepsister, etc.)! My kids (3 & 6) really like him so it was nice to have my family see them in action.

And because Captain’s a gentleman, he brought over 5 lbs of Florida stone crabs, corn and a case of beer. 😉 Major brownie points scored!

  
 

Captain & kids husking corn together

 

Grayheart came by during dessert. They finally officially met. They shook hands hello then Grayheart went over to chat with the kids. He lasted about 15-20 minutes at the house and then said adios  to everyone. (He shook hands with Captain goodbye and said he’d see him down the road.)

Mom’s famous flan!

 
It was awkward but nothing went awry. It was weird having them both at my my mom’s house yet Grayheart was now an outsider. Made me feel kind of bad for him, to be honest. (Not that I should, I mean, Grayheart chose this life. Captain came aboard way after we separated.)

This was my motto on Thanksgiving!

Nonetheless, dinner was delicious, conversation flowed wonderfully and it really felt like a happy Thanksgiving with the people I love the most.

Makes me excited for Christmas! 🌲

xoxo

Today’s Motto:  

A year ago…

A year ago Grayheart moved out. We’d started our separation discussions and plans in September 2014 but he moved out the Sunday before Thanksgiving 2014. 

We spent Thanksgiving together as a family and it went smoothly.  

For many months, he visited my home nightly (he didn’t have a place he could take them to) and stayed over the nights I would go out (ex. Friday night fun, etc.).  It was torture having to see him so frequently and go through the pain of knowing he was enjoying his life with his mistress, Raggedy Ann.  But I powered through and knew that the kids were doing well due to the united front.

Fast forward to 2015.  Grayheart rents a townhouse and we have separated our lives. He’s a great father and takes the kids twice a week for dinner and now has them overnight every Thursday and every other weekend. The kids are doing really well, all things considered. I’ve taken them to a child psychologist and she’s very happy with their progress.

As for my relationship with him… We have our ups and downs. We get along in a superficial manner and I try to avoid getting into any deep conversations with him. I’m still angry and hurt. Not like I was before but it still lingers. I feel at times like I have things that were left unsaid.  I won’t bother going there but at times it gnaws at me.  

I’ve been reflecting as Thanksgiving comes upon us and things have changed a lot in a year. But I got through it and am grateful.

So this year, my mom will host Thanksgiving again. My kids will be with me. And my lovely boyfriend, Captain, will be attending. *smile*

And Grayheart asked if he could come by. *frown*

And I said yes. *grimace*

What was I supposed to say?

He has no family here and I would hate to separate him from the kids. 

Sigh. You know the saying “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”? Yeah, that’s me. Always me. Lol!

Wish me luck! 

  
Hope all of you have an easy and happy Thanksgiving this year! Lots to be thankful for! 

XO

Tenth Anniversary

Today is my 10th anniversary. 

The traditional gift for your tenth anniversary is aluminum. He can have this foil ball as my present to his dumb ass.

Grayheart and I were discussing some things over the phone about the kids. He looked at the calendar and remarked, “Oh! Happy anniversary!”

He thought he was funny.

So I responded, “Yes! I’m so glad we made it to ten years!” in a completely fake sugary sweet cheerleader voice. 

He didn’t think it was funny anymore.

Asshole.

  
What do I feel today?

Strangely nothing. 

But I sure as hell haven’t forgotten he started screwing Raggedy Ann on our anniversary last year. 

But no pain. No sadness. Just nothing. 

So tonight I’m celebrating my freedom with one of my best friends that’s known me a hella long time.

Here’s to Throwback Thursday! 

Salud! 🍷🍸🍺

XO

My Mother-in-law

My Mother-in-law’s birthday was last week but we didn’t connect until a few days later.  I don’t speak much with her but we have always had a good relationship.

My MIL is an interesting woman. She suffers from panic disorders, anxiety and depression. She’s witnessed the death of two husbands and has a really screwed up family. She’s overweight, a chain smoker, always has some sort of ailment, etc. I feel her sons (Grayheart included) are often too hard on her and don’t understand or sympathize with her.

I’m not her daughter so I can’t attest to how good of a mom she was to her sons while raising them. They harbor resentment even though they all have a relationship with her. I think they’re often too abrasive with her given how sensitive she is… but it’s not my business.

She’s not the most active grandmother but she cares for my rugrats and checks up on them every so often. She remembers birthdays and always send Christmas gifts. She usually visits once a year from up North. She’s always been kind to me so I don’t have any complaints.

I feel like she’s only capable of so much given her history and disorders. I haven’t really spoken to her more than maybe twice in the last year.  I know she cares. She’s just different.

So we caught up on the family and she asked how I was. I replied I was doing well and that Grayheart and I were doing a nice job handling the kids throughout the divorce. And then I let it slip that his girlfriend, Raggedy Ann, had met the kids and all was fine.

She had no idea he had a girlfriend.

They’ve been together over a year now.

I didn’t get into any details with her about it. But I sure as hell made sure she knew this was the woman that was an active participant in the destruction of our marriage.

So I’m taking it that Grayheart is still a bit embarrassed about his rough beginnings with Raggedy. And doesn’t want to be judged for it.

Fucker.

But as meaningless as it is, part of me felt good that he’s kept this part of his life semi-compartmentalized. I had a small and temporary feeling of superiority. Silly, I know. But sometimes it’s these little things that make you feel better.

I’m finally putting my mother-in-law’s bday card in the mail now. Better late than never.

xo

Captain met the kids

After 8 months of dating, we made it happen. Captain met my kids on Halloween!

And it went GREAT!

He brought them each a little gift to butter them up. They played superhero imagination games together. Then we had a nice home cooked meal at my house together. (My kids behaved like angels! I was shocked!)

He was such a great sport. My son was Batman, my daughter and I Batgirl and he dressed up as the Joker!

Kids painting Joker face on Captain

We then went trick or treating together! The kids were so excited to hang out with him, they took turns asking to hold his hand. (They’re 3 & 6.)

 
The kids gave him huge hugs before he left and asked him to come back the next day. They commented to me afterward how much they enjoyed hanging out with him and how awesome he was. 

Captain soon after called me to tell me he had a wonderful time and felt like he loved me even more after meeting them. 

It couldn’t have gone any better. I am so grateful. (And relieved!) 🙂

XO – Athena