I saw this and couldn’t resist sharing! 😉
xo
Month: April 2016
Lemonade 🍋 & Infidelity
Even Beyoncé is not safe from a cheating spouse.
I’m referring to her new album, Lemonade, in which she refers to infidelity and issues in what we can assume is her marriage. See this article if you want a summary.
I don’t know the whole story and most is just conjecture. It seems that Beyoncé ultimately forgives Jay-Z and opts to stick with him and keep her family together, etc.
But what really got me about this whole thing is just how the Internet exploded with such disdain for the alleged “side chick”, Rachel Roy. Beyonce’s fans went ballistic with the ballsy comment Roy left on her social media account. They left all kinds of nasty comments and emojis showing unity with Queen Bey (🍋🐝).
And although I don’t support the bullying tactics or even dumb comments, it was refreshing to see that people still find it wrong to be the “other woman” or to even gloat about it. (I’m not even going to touch on the fact that Jay-Z is an ass and I hope has shame over the situation.) There’s nothing cool about infidelity. And I think there’s been a trend lately to just accept that it happens and get over it.
And then there’s an even bigger trend to actually leave your partner for these side hoes! Did this happen as often twenty or thirty years ago? Were people more conservative and caring of others’ judgments then? Am I just noticing it more now because my husband cheated and left our marriage?
I don’t know if the whole Beyoncé thing is a publicity stunt or her truly wanting to get these feelings off her chest. She’s making millions off of it and somehow even Rachel Roy is profiting. (You know what they say, no such thing as bad publicity.) So I might be a fool for discussing it but the whole debaucle really struck a nerve. More than it should have.
Marriage should be sacred. And respected by all. Not just the two married.
But as a funny side note, did y’all see the dummies that were harassing Rachael Ray? I lost my shit laughing at some of the comments!!
Sorry for the messy thoughts… xo
Spontaneity
What do you do when your city is hot as Hades but the sky is bright and the most gorgeous shade of blue?
You grab a cooler, pack sandwiches and take the kiddos to la playa!
It was my weekend with the kids and I wanted to do something fun so I took the hour drive to Islamorada! There’s a little beach there that’s really family friendly and quiet.
We met Captain after work at the marina. (How nice to have that as his “office”, right?) And then decided to have a pizza dinner at his house. The kids were thrilled as they had never been to his place before. It was fun seeing him entertaining my brood on his turf.
(And it was especially fun hearing the tinge of jealousy in Grayheart’s voice as the kids relayed their day to him.)
It was a wonderful weekend for a number of reasons but the beach was the highlight! I have to remember to be more spontaneous with the kids!
☀️❤️🏖
Collateral Damage
When your kids are sad – and I don’t mean mad or annoyed – but downright sad, it breaks your heart in a way you can’t even explain. You feel like your whole body is lead. Just heavy and dull and blah. Your brain kinda fogs up and you can’t think straight.
I’ve been in a bit of a funk since my little She-ra (7 yr old) had a difficult time the other night when I dropped her off at Daddy’s (aka Grayheart’s) house. She didn’t want to be there, didn’t want to leave me, etc. She does this frequently. Not as much lately but I figure that coming off of the weekend with me was certainly not going to have her want to leave her cozy home to start the weekend with him. (My almost 4 yr old son, though, has no issues.)
So I always leave feeling crummy. She clings to me and cries and begs. And it sucks.
She usually gets over it soon thereafter and Grayheart normally texts me to let me know all is good.
But this time she took a bit longer to recover. She wailed to him how unfair this whole set up is. She wanted to be at her home. Not his.
So he patiently listened to her as she complained that the divorce is the cause of him not being at home. And that she doesn’t understand it, doesn’t like it and wishes he’d just move back in.
What do you say to that?! I mean, honestly, you respond with the typical explanation: how it’s this way for a reason, blah, blah, blah… but she’s right. Divorce sucks. She’s been put in a position where she has to split her time between the two adults she loves the absolute most. And since she’s 7, she remembers having an intact household. (Whereas my son doesn’t.)
So he talked her through it – and did a nice job, I must admit – and she recovered. But it’s moments like this that just pop out of nowhere – even a year and a half later – that throw you off. That even though they’re “ok” and “doing well”, kids are collateral damage. And that is depressing.
My friend, TheEuphoricIraqiSingleMom, brought up recently the topic of staying in a loveless marriage in regards to a friend of hers. I’ve thought about it before. How much would I be willing to sacrifice to make sure my kids had an intact, whole family? Could I ever get back with Grayheart just for the kids? Could I ever forgive what he’s done to me? Could I pretend I love him just to make sure I could be with my kids all the time?
And the answer is, I can’t. I don’t see him the same. I don’t love him like I once did. He actually repulses me, in a way. I know I’d never get back with him but sometimes I’m disappointed in myself because it seems selfish. I know from a logical standpoint that I’m being silly, but that little voice loves to taunt me at times. Especially when I have a setback with my kids.
Anyway, darling daughter is fine now and hasn’t brought up any concerns…and seemed to have a lovely weekend with her father. So, I’m guessing this is normal.
Nonetheless, divorce sucks.
xo
Athena
Spring has Sprung!
March was a busy month and April is proving to be just as exciting! I love Spring! Lots of birthdays this time of year for us and all kinds of celebrations.
Here’s a bit of why I have been missing (besides my phone-in-toilet situation)!
My darling daughter turned 7!
I’m certainly no cake decorator but we did a home celebration for her!
Ice cream made with liquid nitrogen! Aptly called Brain Freeze!
Took the kids to the Dade County Youth Fair!
Visit to the ballet! My first time!
Bravo! Midsummer’s Night Dream cast
Coffee at Books & Books
Discovered a restaurant in Key Largo that we love called “Lucy’s”!
Third row seats to the Miami Heat vs Cavs game! Kindly gifted to us by a friend!
Outside the arena with my love ❤️
These seats were incredible! Such an exciting game!
Attended a Cancer Survivor Walk with my family 💜
My mom, my hero and favorite woman in the world! 4 years cancer free now!
Happy St Paddy’s Day!
Easter Egg Race
Tons of goodies found by Spiderman!
Easter sack race!
And finally we start April… I turned 36 and had a ton of fun with all the birthday festivities! Captain made it very special for me. We had an incredible weekend complete with mini golf, driving range, laser tag, games at Dave & Busters, a tennis match, wonderful dinners, movies and shopping! Whew!
Mini Golf!
Laser Tag with my besties!
Awesome seats at the Miami Open!
Women’s Finals match! Victoria Azarenka serving!
Mens’ Doubles Finals Match
Bday dinner at the Rusty Pelican in Key Biscayne
Night of dancing!
Gaming!
Paint Nite & dinner with my Mom
Final product! I’m obviously no artist but boy is it fun!
Nature walk at Pinecrest Gardens & Farmers Market time!
It’s been a fun filled few weeks and I feel very loved and blessed. I have an incredible family, boyfriend and group of friends. Never imagined I’d be here. A year ago I was grappling with uncertainty, pain, bouts of sadness, unsure of a new relationship, tons of concern for my kids, anger and confusion. I can’t say it’s all 100% gone but I can certainly say I’m a good 80% better. And I’ll take that. I’m looking straight ahead and welcoming what’s in store for me and my kids.
Thank you all for checking in on me and always supporting my progress. ❤️💜❤️
Besos,
Athena
Divorce With Me 