February Blues

Since Valentine’s Day weekend, I have been a bit of a mess.  I hit that inevitable setback and really was very sad for sometime.  (Functional but in a crabby way.)

Grayheart finally found a townhouse that has rooms for each of our kids.  His lease started middle of this month and he’s slowly moving in.  (He’s been traveling the last two weeks for work.)  I think the reality of my kids having a second home to spend time in really just screwed with me.  Coping with that thought has been tough.  We haven’t implemented it yet but that storm is coming soon.  (Prepare yourselves, readers. You’ll probably not like me when I first adjust to the change.)

He also confirmed that he’s seeing Raggedy.  And that she would be visiting him while out of town this coming weekend because it is her birthday. (Bitch.)  I have worked so hard at ridding of my anger but I felt it slowly creeping back.  It just pisses me off that he gets to find love and happiness during this process.  He doesn’t deserve it and I wish them nothing but the worst.  I sound so petty but I hate them (together as a couple).  She lives my life, doing things “we” used to do while I sleep at home alone at night nursing my broken heart (or hangover).

I’m not going to let this confirmation have control over me.  So while a shitty couple of weeks made landfall in February, thankfully, this week has been better.

The Week’s Mantra:  Feel the feels. Get through it.  And, March, hurry up already!

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12 thoughts on “February Blues

  1. Reblogged this on Phoenix Rising From the Ashes and commented:
    I’m nearing the end of what has been a lengthy divorce, the “final” date is set for mid March. I can feel your pain though my personal situation is a bit different. No other woman involved but a commitment to his work that out weighs anything else in his life. 36 years together and I have to learn to live my life alone but when I put that in words I realize I have been alone most of the time……..

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi there – thanks for the reblog…
      But I’m very sorry to hear about your divorce. It is such a painful process. I can only imagine how tough after 36 years. I wish you strength and luck as you go through it. Let us know how you feel once it’s finalized mid March. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. He’s not happy, don’t ever forget that! He’s living with “convenience” right now. Do you think in a few months she is going to trust him based on how they met? Short answer is no, there will always be skepticism in their relationship, it’s the cheaters mantra. Fortunately for you once you get clear of the muck you get to hold your head high, and you will be a better person and get to laugh at him. I totally understand the missing the kids, it sucks beyond belief and takes a while to get used to. Hang in there! There are good days and bad days but they will get farther and farther apart as time goes on. Focus on yourself and your kids and don’t worry about a two bit lying cheating ex, he didn’t deserve you anyway if he was willing to tear his family apart.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Whether you find love again or not, you need to become your own person. Who are you without a partner? Who are you without your kids? Don’t let other people define you.

    One day, Grayheart will have regrets. He will try to make things work again. At that point, you want to be strong enough to say, no thanks, you’re not good for me.

    Rise above, dear, rise above… or at least try. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I immediately hate both of them and obviously need to go back to read your older posts for more context. I’m so sorry this is happening right now. Ugh, sometimes life is just the worst.

    You’ll bounce back from the heartbreak (and the hangovers) eventually because that’s what bad bitches do, but I’m glad you’re taking time to nurse them both for now.

    Liked by 1 person

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