I’ve resurfaced… here’s an update on what’s been going on!

I have been working daily and come home exhausted so hitting the computer is often the last thing I want to do.  And my thumbs kill me if I try to write an entire post from my phone!  So I’m going to write a mini update on what’s going on in my life.  I apologize in advance if it’s not the highest caliber of writing or the most visually appealing post.

  • It’s been a birthday bonanza!  We’ve celebrated She-ra, me, my mom, my grandfather’s and Captain’s birthday all in the last three weeks!  It’s been an absolute blast but I’m SO over cake!   
  • Grayheart and I are still on amicable terms.  I know he’s still seeing Raggedy.  I just don’t care.  We’ve been working on our divorce paperwork and the only thing that really has me on edge is the custodial arrangement.  He wants 50/50 and I am terrified of that notion. I suppose it’s a good problem to have… A father that adores his kids. But it’s hard to think I wouldn’t have my kids as frequent as I have them now.  He seems to be open now to different possibilities after doing more research on custody scenarios for such young children.
  • Captain – If there was anything in my life right now that could be described as perfect, he would be it.  We’ve seen each other every 2-3 days, had amazing dates (dinners, paint notes, even just sitting in Krispy Kreme parking lot), gone away for a two day trip together to Disney World and Islands of Adventure  (where he asked me to be his girlfriend), and last night he told me that he loves me.  This man is so incredibly sexy and attentive and genuine and kind hearted and loving… I just cannot believe that I’ve been blessed with a man this wonderful to me.  And I actually really really care for him back.  It’s such a nice, easy affectionate relationship.  I think I love him as much as I am capable of right now.  I know he’s worried that he is a rebound relationship for me.  I would like to think this is not true and that we are just incredibly lucky to find each other.  I suppose only time will tell.  I can say, though, that I am the happiest I’ve ever been with a man.  And it’s an amazing feeling.     
  • I’ve not been running more than once a week so I feel like crap. I’m gonna get back on track though. It’s such a yucky feeling and exercising really helps mind, body and soul.
  • My old job (in real estate) contacted me today inquiring as to whether or not I’d be interested in returning in a part time capacity. Not sure how I feel about this since I have virtually no details. I will do lunch with my old boss next week and learn more.   

So there you go! I’ve included some pictures of our dinners and outings.  (Feel free to inquire about any of these.). Lots of stuff in the last 3 weeks.  I know that I’m incredibly lucky and have much to be grateful for.

Today’s Motto:  I’m loved and lucky.  And I really feel like I deserve it.  It’s so nice to be in this phase of life rather than where I was 9 months ago. ❤️ 

February Blues

Since Valentine’s Day weekend, I have been a bit of a mess.  I hit that inevitable setback and really was very sad for sometime.  (Functional but in a crabby way.)

Grayheart finally found a townhouse that has rooms for each of our kids.  His lease started middle of this month and he’s slowly moving in.  (He’s been traveling the last two weeks for work.)  I think the reality of my kids having a second home to spend time in really just screwed with me.  Coping with that thought has been tough.  We haven’t implemented it yet but that storm is coming soon.  (Prepare yourselves, readers. You’ll probably not like me when I first adjust to the change.)

He also confirmed that he’s seeing Raggedy.  And that she would be visiting him while out of town this coming weekend because it is her birthday. (Bitch.)  I have worked so hard at ridding of my anger but I felt it slowly creeping back.  It just pisses me off that he gets to find love and happiness during this process.  He doesn’t deserve it and I wish them nothing but the worst.  I sound so petty but I hate them (together as a couple).  She lives my life, doing things “we” used to do while I sleep at home alone at night nursing my broken heart (or hangover).

I’m not going to let this confirmation have control over me.  So while a shitty couple of weeks made landfall in February, thankfully, this week has been better.

The Week’s Mantra:  Feel the feels. Get through it.  And, March, hurry up already!