Shi…ngles

I got shingles, y’all! *slow clap*

It’s kinda fun to say. Shhhh… ingles? Sh-ing-les. Sh-in-gulls. Shin-gals. Shhhhh. Whatever. I got it. 

Apparently, you don’t need to be over 60 to have it. 

Those effers have been living in my nerve cells latent for 33 years and decided to pop in for an uninvited visit this week. Bastards.

I’m annoyed because I’m not stressed and this is usually the cause of onset. I’m actually on summer break from teaching and having a lovely time! 

Only thing I can think is maybe my brain is creeping behind my back and subversively worrying about finances?

Grayheart, my ex-husband, recently quit his long-term, secure job. Why? No good reason. He hated his job and wanted to pursue his business ventures in the restaurant industry is pretty much why. Idiot. 

It’s not my business what he does as long as he parents well and pays for his child support. He will continue to pay his child support as-is but I just don’t trust him. So on a teacher’s salary, you can understand why I might quietly fret? Anyway, I’m pushing it out of my mind and just focusing on the now and not the “what if” of the situation. I didn’t think it was bothering me enough to cause me trouble but it’s possible that my body is just tired of constantly fighting everything over the last 3 years? (This shingles thing is his fault, of course.)

As a side note, Grayheart broke up with Raggedy Ann. I think this is the fifth time? 🙄 (I met her, by the way. Another story, another time. Nothing exciting.) 

Oh! And he then immediately got a vasectomy. I think Raggedy was hinting at wanting her own kids. Lmao!

*Don’t mind me as I snicker at their demise.*

I know, petty. But, fuck, I’m dealing with shingles! Cut me some slack! 

———————————-

So… back to me. Life is pretty damn good right now. I’m heading to the Turks & Caicos in a couple of weeks with Captain. He and I are wonderful! I’m still gushy in love. ❤️ My kids are fantastic and I’ve been doing so many fun things with them this summer! I’ve kept to my resolution of reading a book a month and have been reading the Outlander novels! (And love them!) I’m back to running again after a very long hiatus! And I’ve got 5 more weeks of summer break! Woohoo! Life will be all good again once I’m back to normal. 🙌🏽

Hope everyone is enjoying their summer! (Or winter for you Southern Hemisphere folks!) 

😘 Athena 

Exercise as important as Food or Sleep?

Exercise is at the top of my list of resolutions for 2016. Nothing original about that as it seems to be high in everyone’s list. 

  
But something really clicked in my mind the other day. 

Captain gave me a bit of a lecture how I don’t really do much for myself since I’m always busy taking care of everyone else. And I responded that I now do much more for myself than ever before. I go to the gym regularly and get to spend quality time with him. These are now my outlets.

But he responded that the gym is not “me” time as much as it’s a necessity.

Wha????

  
I never really thought of exercise as important as sleep or food or water. 

Mind blown.

  
I always felt as if getting to the gym was strictly a way to treat myself. A luxury, of sorts. 

And I used to get pissed as hell that Grayheart made it a top priority for him to exercise while I was at home (fat and bitter) taking care of our kids. He complained that I put my health last. 

Truth be told, I was always so exhausted at the end of a long workday and dealing with the kids that thinking of getting to the gym at 8 or 9 pm was ludicrous. I’d miss out on time with the kids. Plus, who was going to clean the house? And when were we going to have quality time together as a couple? And sleep! Is it any good if you’re going to sleep at midnight? Ugh. All too familiar complaints of families with small children.

  

Perspective shift now.

My kids are now a bit older and don’t require the constant attention they needed as babies or toddlers. I drop them off at the childcare center in the gym and do my routine. And I feel so much better now that I’m thinner and physically strong again. 

  
Happy and healthy mom = Happy family!
So now the real question is… what will I be doing solely for myself?

XO

My little secret

I think this blog thing is really helping.  I’m only day 3 into this but I’ve already been inspired by so many others bloggers that are going through/have gone through a similar experience.  I also am very aware that I have virtually no audience so it feels like I’m divulging myself to my diary.   No one knows me here,  I’m anonymous, it’s my little secret from my real life.  That, in a sense, makes me feel like I finally have something to myself.

I feel like I’ve always lived my life very transparently.  I never had anything to hide.  My spouse was my best friend and never had to question my loyalty or love.  I shared everything with him.  Now that he’s moved out, I’m here trying to figure out who the hell I am.  When you’re used to being that open with someone for 13 years, what do you really have that’s just yours?

So, this blog has become my little secret.  My strange way of exacting revenge.   It gives me a sort of satisfaction that although he told me I had lost myself and only identified as being a mother, I will prove him wrong.  He never even needs to know that I’m doing this.  Just the knowledge that I have something that I did on my own gives me a sense of confidence I haven’t had in quite some time.   I feel stronger today.  It might be just a little bit but it’s something.