I have not yet been insulted, kidnapped, killed or bestowed some sort of computer virus in the last week of online dating. (Real concerns of mine as I monitored my Match profile from my phone app. Not reasonable considering I haven’t met anyone in person but you never know what kind of NSA spying skills these dudes may have.)
I subscribed to the service where you get a fake phone number through the service so you don’t have to give out your real number. $3.33 per month. Let me just say that it’s been a complete waste of money because I could not figure out how the heck to use it!
I’ve not gone on any dates yet but I’ve communicated with a few guys that seem pretty nice so far. Let’s see who my first will be…
Here’s what I’ve learned of the process so far:
- You probably give others more of a chance than you would in person because you don’t have a “vibe” from them yet. I’ve chatted with folks I probably wouldn’t give the time of day to in real life but since the pool of overly attractive interesting people is slim, you give some dubious ones a shot at some online convo.
- Catfishing is real!! I will do a follow up post soon about it but I got catfished! (The story is hilarious!) I’m no dummy and have great luck on my side so I wasn’t a victim but you must do your research beforehand! And go with your gut!
- Screenshot/take a picture of someone you think is interesting (photo/bio) so that you don’t have to keep going to their profile. Match shows you who has “viewed” you so if you view someone frequently you’ll look like a stalker!
- Pictures are everything!
- Messages with just “hi” or “how are you” get no response or the exact same response back. (B-O-R-I-N-G!)
- I finally ignore the guys I’m not interested in. A good friend described it as taking in stray cats. Once you do, you can’t get rid of them. It’s a good analogy so as rude as it may seem… I am not responding to people I’m not interested in.
- You will inevitably come across people you know. SO awkward! I was viewed by a guy I went to high school with (cringe), messaged by a guy that one of my best friends dated (I called him out on that!) and then “randomly matched” with a guy I used to work with (no!)…
Here are a few more gems for shits and giggles!
– The Chuck Woollery of Match.com:
“Okay, let’s say it’s gonna be a chill “Netflix” night… What movie are we going to watch and what should I order for takeout – Thai, Chinese, or ___?” (This is already after two questions on what my ideal vacation and getaway would be! Wth? Is this the Love Connection?! I almost responded we’d be back in two in two! lol! But I followed my new rule of no replies to the rejects.)
– This guy’s got jokes:
“Hey there miss Athena, hope you and your kids had a wonderful day…. What did the knife say to the potato? lol” (Poor guy has resorted to lame jokes to stand out? smh…)
– This guy got a reply because he’s the first to make me laugh out loud (which I now regret because he’s a damn stray and doesn’t stop messaging me!):
“Hello Athena,
This is the first time I have ever written a Goddess. And while I am comforted by the idea that as the Goddess of Wisdom, you will be able to discern my intellect, sense of humor and ability to carry on an entertaining conversation, I also realize you are the Goddess of War and I must tread carefully, lol.
Hope you are having an excellent week. It was my pleasure to have you show up in my daily matches. You have a captivating and energetic smile and look like someone who would be a lot of fun to hang out with and have a lot of laughs.
So, since you like to read, my ridiculously long profile shouldn’t scare you. And if anything I wrote makes you chuckle or makes me stand out from the ocean of posers on this site, I would love it if we could converse some more.
I pray to Zeus’ blessed forehead that you would feel the same. Let me know if sacrificing a small goat in your name would help. Have a great day beautiful goddess and protector of Athens!”
– My first online proposal
“My name is J. will you marry me?? ;)”
Today’s Mantra: Today I will let loose. I’m going to approach someone I think is cute… maybe. (Trying to go out of my comfort zone.)
Divorce With Me 