Miami Half Marathon Complete!

I did the Miami Half Marathon this morning and am so happy! 

6:00 AM Start time!


I hadn’t trained as rigorously as my half last year in Disney so I’m really glad I made it!  I ran with a girlfriend of mine who does 3:1 intervals. We completed the 13.1 miles in 2 hrs 30 min. This was my first time trying interval running and I enjoyed it. We skipped some of the walks towards to make up for lost time at the beginning of the race.

It was a beautiful run- a bit windy – as the weather was perfect. Very chilly for us at 45F but I am not complaining! Certainly better than the blizzard that’s hit the Northeast! 

Got to see the sunrise over the bay and cruiseships


I feel like I can now consider myself a runner. I have three long distance races under my belt and am going to keep on!   

Who says you can’t be better after divorce? 💪🏽

Happy Sunday! 👑



Grayheart & Kids in Disney 

For the last several years, my family and I have done the Disney World marathon weekend since we are annual pass holders. I even went last year even though Grayheart and I were estranged.  (I did my first half marathon last year.)

Typically, one of us would do a race while we have the kids do a kids race.

This year, the Disney marathon weekend fell on Grayheart’s weekend with the kids. He invited me to join them. I thought about it. And declined. (I’m not that crazy again.)

And then I panicked thinking he would be alone in Disney world with our 3 yr old son and 6 yr old daughter. 

So I told him that I actually preferred that there be another adult with them. Raggedy Ann.

Yup, I actually asked that the woman who was a part of my breakup with my husband to attend Disney World with my kids.

Why? Because another set of eyes would ensure my kids would be properly watched, cared for, help with bathroom breaks and be the even number for any rides. 

And so she joined them this past weekend for it. And I was okay.

I didn’t overthink it. Because if I allowed myself to, I’d probably get worked up and upset for no reason.

Instead, I’m grateful my kids had fun and  back in one piece, safe and sound.


Disney Kids Race

I’m doing good, friends. I’m really coming to peace with my new life. I’m not fully there yet but I’m getting there. 🙂


PS –  It was glorious, though, hearing Grayheart remark that he has no idea how I did it by myself last month because it was exhausting even with two adults watching over them.


Déjà vu – Sadness returns. Ugh. 

I have been in a funk. Excuse me as I rant.

I go up, I go down. 

I’m on a down right now.


I feel as if I have been reliving the announcement of the separation as exactly a year ago. The rainy, dreary weather is the same, my kids are back in school, anxiety and depression are sitting on each of my shoulders, and my trip to Paris is right around the corner. 

It feels like déjà vu. I wake up and I can’t believe this is my life. I’d rather be sleeping than facing the sadness that surrounds me. The weather matches my mood and I can’t seem to get out of it.   

I do not want to be back with Grayheart. I do not feel the same way towards him. He is a different man now and I’m not even sure I ever really knew him.

At this second, I’m not even mad. I’m just sad; like my soul is sad. Give me a squeeze and I’ll burst into tears at any given second. I’m that sensitive. I feel like I’m trying to jog while underwater.Last year I was even scheduled to go to Paris with Grayheart and run the Paris to Versailles race. I cancelled the trip three days before we were scheduled to leave because I couldn’t bear the thought of having him next to me in such a romantic city after he told me he was miserable.

So here I am planning to go on a new and improved version of the trip. But I keep having that sinking feeling in my gut. I have little desire to shop or pack for my trip. I have an emptiness and nausea that I can’t get rid of no matter how hard I try. 

I am also a shadow of the person I have been over the last several months. I was feeling so strong and happy and carefree. And now I’m moody and sullen.  

 I think I’m sabotaging my relationship with Captain. I’ve been pessimistic about it all, needy and just not as fun to be with. We’ve also been apart most of the month due to his work and travel. I keep focusing on our differences (eg. kids vs no kids, he works a lot, he is not close to his family, he’s kind of shy, etc.). And I know that all but the kids thing is totally me just having major insecurities and over-scrutinizing insignificant details. I am so traumatized by Grayheart leaving me that I keep waiting and watching for signs to tell me this guy will leave me, too. Ugh.


I hope I snap out of this. Quickly. I am not typically a depressed person and it’s very upsetting to me that I’m acting so strangely.

Today’s Mantra: This is normal and part of the healing process. (Right?!)


Rearranging Furniture and Upcoming Travel

I’ve been making change around my house.  I decided to go for lighter and brighter colors in my house. And since I’m on a budget, I’m trying to do it with the fewest expenses as possible. So I moved my furniture in my bedroom around and it’s made a tremendous difference. I still have lots to do but it makes me happy!

On another happy note, I’m leaving in a little over a week to Paris, Amsterdam and Munich with my siblings and cousins! I will be doing that 10 mile race I cancelled last year (due to my separation) and then ending off in Oktoberfest! I’m so excited! It’ll be an emotional milestone for me since my process started a year ago.  

My hot brother in law in his lederhosen!


Today’s Mantra: Put your positive pants on and don’t let others control your mood. 


Weekend in Rewind – The Keys & Kid Races

It’s been a bit since I’ve done one of these!  Here’s my weekend in rewind!

Friday Night Fun – I drove to Islamorada to see Captain.  He had some friends in town that were renting a mansion in Marathon.  They invited us to stay the night and we gladly agreed!  I won’t even begin to bore you with details on how awesome the place was but we certainly had an amazing time partying and I got on soooo well with his friends.  

Here are some pictures of the place. Felt like paradise.  

I love going to the Keys.  It is so wonderfully relaxing and feels like vacation each time I go visit.  And being with Captain is like living a dream I haven’t quite woken up from. (I know, I’m so pathetically sappy these days!)

I will still recovering from my fun by Saturday so it was a simple evening with my kids and family.

And then Sunday was all about family and fitness! My family participates in something called “Healthy Kids Races” which promotes running as a healthy lifestyle activity to combat childhood obesity.  This was the last race of the series and there was a big party and a parents’ race.  This mommy right here got 3rd place in the 1 mile race! 🙂


Fun times! 

Rugged Maniac! 

I did the Rugged Maniac race in Dade City, FL on Saturday… and I had a freaking awesome time!!  It’s a 25 obstacle 3.5 mile race that you can do individually or with a team.  I partnered up with a team of friends and went for it!

Here are some of the obstacles from the race! (Pictures are from the site since I didn’t have a camera on me.)

      Let me just say that this was my first obstacle race and I rocked it!  I ran, jumped, climbed, grunted, swung, swam, crawled or pushed through each of the obstacles! It was incredibly fun to do with my team and I am soooo amped to do another one in the near future!  (I was a complete wet and dirty mess after the race!)

Here are some random shots before and after the race!  




Overall, the race was fun, it was a great bonding experience with friends and I was really proud of my accomplishment.  I felt strong physically and mentally.  I am currently searching for the next one I can participate in.

Please share your experience with any obstacle/mud races you have done! I’m curious as to the other ones out there (Spartan, Tough Mudder, etc.) so let me know your thoughts!

Saturday’s Mantra:  They don’t call me Athena for nothing! 😉

Health Goals and Perspective

I was looking back now at a journal that I sometimes record random thoughts in.  Sometimes it’s milestone updates on the kids, sometimes just notes on how I feel, goals I want to accomplish or just recording the shit that was going on with Grayheart.  I found a list of health goals I wanted to achieve back in August 2013, just shortly after I left my job to be a stay at home mom.  I remember thinking that I would have all this free time to focus on me since I wouldn’t be juggling being a mother, wife and professional.  Boy, was I off! Here were the goals:

#1 – Lose 30 lbs
#2 – Get fit and healthy within 6 months.
#3 – Run a 5K before the end of the year
#4 – Get rid of sugar addiction
#5 – Exercise 5-6 times per week

Needless to say, I did not take into account that raising a one year old full time and trying to be Super Mom is actually a lot of work and that I’d be dealing with a sort of depression from the transition.  I felt I had lost some of my independence and self worth. I felt like the anti-feminist and didn’t want to be viewed as that mom that sat home watching TV while pigging out on ice cream.  So I over compensated and totally became that PTA mom and school volunteer and home chef that I thought I was supposed to be.  We struggled financially at home since we didn’t really adjust our lifestyle to accommodate the single income.  I became resentful of the lack of attention from my husband.  He didn’t understand how alone I felt.  I went from being a boss and leader in the corporate world to a glorified housewife.  I felt as if I had been reduced to shitty diapers and talk about princesses and Disney.  I was my heaviest (162 lbs and I’m only 5’3″) and didn’t even want to focus on my appearance.  I looked and felt like a slob.  But I just didn’t care or want it enough.  How was I supposed to focus on me when I was exhausted after caring for everyone else?

Fast forward to August 2014 almost exactly a year later… I started my running program and was very motivated.  What was the difference?  Both of my kids were in school and were doing great.  I developed a routine that incorporated dropping them off and then having free time alone to work out!  I felt like the tether had been cut and for the first time in 5 years, I had time to actually focus on myself.  Needless to say, the pounds started to shed.  The running encouraged better eating and a healthier lifestyle for me.  I found that I didn’t need sugar to cope.  I wish I still had the article but I read something that sugar basically hijacks your brain to make you crave it more.  It dawned on me that I am stronger than my brain’s cravings and that I’m in charge of my own brain.  It clicked and I started to change my life.  I felt happier and stronger.  I’d lost at least 1 lb a week and was really proud of my progress since I felt I could sustain it.

Fast forward to now… my progress has continued.  I’m down 9% body fat, have lost 24 lbs and am down a few dress sizes.  The acceleration of my weight loss definitely has to do with my current situation since I have little appetite and constant nausea… but I don’t want to limit it to that.  I’ve continued running and exercising almost daily and really feel like I’ve adopted a new lifestyle.  So although I didn’t complete my goals last year, I’m proud to say that I’ve just about completed them this year.  I don’t limit myself on what I can eat but I just don’t eat as much.  And sugar just doesn’t interest me.  Although I would still like to lose 5-10 pounds more, I feel really damn great and my self confidence in my appearance is back.  I look better, dress better and actually focus more on my appearance.  (And, to be honest, it has felt damn good over the last couple months having Grayheart tell me how good and sexy I look.)  Oh, and another thing… there’s a beautiful thing about perspective once you’ve had kids and are in your thirties.  Those hang-ups I had in my twenties about not having the perfect abs and ass?  Gone.  I’m just grateful I’m healthy and in better shape and have learned to accept the flaws in my body.

So, while I have been focusing on the negative aspects of a divorce, there has been one positive outcome this early in the game!  And I will not let it be a temporary thing.  This is just another way of me going back to the old me. 🙂

Today’s Mantra:  Perspective, perspective, perspective!