When your best friend is getting married and you’re getting divorced…

One of my best friends is getting married next month. I’m so very happy for her as she deserves nothing but the greatest happiness in the world. I’d been pleased that none of the festivities have bothered me.  

But then I went shopping for items off her registry for her bridal shower this weekend. Something about that act transported me back to the time when I once did my registry and relived the excitement behind it. And then suddenly I was so bitter at Grayheart that I had to literally talk myself out of my anger.

I grabbed her items, thought of her happiness – all the while grateful she didn’t put a lot of useless crap – and then moseyed on down to the register. 

There are marriages and relationships that are successful. Mine was not. Hers will be. I don’t want to send negative energy her way.  

On a fun and positive note, she’s getting married in the Caribbean and I’m going! Woohoo!

Hope you all have a beautiful and safe Labor Day weekend! ❤️

Friday Night Fun – Live Music & Dancing

I’m a bit late posting this but last Friday was so much fun that I thought I’d memorialize it in a post so I can look back and remember it. There wasn’t anything particularly crazy about it but it was just a fun night with friends and my lovely sister.

We went to this awesome jazzy style place that served food and grab your own bottle of wine type of deal. We had front row seats to the live band that played a mix of soul and R&B. It was one of my best friend’s birthdays (Muggle) and so a big group of us got together.

One of my BFFs (Lucy) was there with her fiancé. They had another bday celebration to attend there (people I did not know… or so I thought!). I went to go back to say hello and hang out only to find a blast from the past sitting right with them. Some douchey guy I sort of dated for a couple of weeks in high school. Ugghh!! This is why I sometimes hate going out… I loathe running into people I went to school with. (Mind you, my friends tease me because I was voted “Friendliest” in high school!) I said my hellos and then darted out of there. It was incredibly awkward. I later found out he shared with the group how we “kinda dated” in high school. Um, not something I’m proud of nor want to share with the world. Lol!

So my sis and I took off to continue partying at another part of town. They too had live music and then we jammed at the bar/club there. We danced and danced until our feet hurt. We were approached by a number of guys but no one caught my eye. (I’ve become SO picky!) We did have several guys that were worse than damn toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe! 😒

Overall, a great night with great people and no pressure to find a man. Also realized that I don’t often watch live cover bands but there is something so fun about watching people rock out to music you know. I’m going to make an effort this year to do more of it!

Weekend Mantra: Just jam!! (Makes me think of Michael Jackson song!)

Nostalgia

Today I feel a bit nostalgic. I’ve been in DC a few days now and have had the pleasure of seeing many old friends and visit some old stomping grounds. The weather is crisp and feels great to breathe in. Food has been phenomenal… I’ve had the opportunity to eat Thai, Chinese, Indian… Yum!

But a part of me is wistful. This is where it all started with Grayheart. It’s reminiscent of happier times and new beginnings and old familiars. I caught my friends up to speed on the divorce. One friend – that knows us both well – shared that although I look wonderful, she sees great sadness in my eyes. (I can’t fool everyone it seems.)

Couple this with my daughter last night crying hysterically over Skype that she was missing me… Well, it didn’t lend itself to a perfect night’s rest.

I still have a few days left here and really am enjoying so much of my trip. But as I’m learning, emotions come in waves. They’re in like the tide and then out again. You never just feel one thing and, boy, are they sneaky! I’m onto them, though, and will just take it in stride today. 😉

Today’s Mantra: Smile and enjoy yourself.

Btw, the image is a picture I took in the Natural History Museum in Nature’s Best Photography Exhibit. This photographer (Antonio Zimbone) won “Power of Nature” with this picture of Mt. Etna in Italy. Thought it properly reflected my emotions these days! Lol! Enjoy!

Night out

Art Basel Graffiti Image – Rap Artist Trina

Last night started off great. Had a wonderful sushi dinner with two of my best friends and then we headed to an Art Basel party. The scene was hip and artsy with lots of Caribbean flavor. And then there’s me in a skin tight little black dress that had a keyhole cutout to show off cleavage (in which, right before I left, my daughter asked me why I had a hole in the dress). I looked out of place and like I was trying too hard. Then I realized just how intimidated I was by the scene. I mean, earlier that day I had considered making out with a hot guy if the opportunity presented itself. Now? Not so much. The thought of another man touching or being intimate with me was repulsive. And going through the whole dating game just freaked me the hell out. All these thoughts running through my mind at the same time cause me to start tearing up so I disappeared on my friends to go control the waterworks that were coming. What the hell changed? I was so confident earlier in the day and then my confidence fell somewhere to the floor. Fear took over and loneliness was making its way in. How could this happen when I was surrounded by music and numerous people? I was trying too hard too fast. My friends found me and talked me back to reality. It was going to be a long road and I was going to have to accept it one way or another. And soon enough I won’t feel like such a fish out of water. This is all still part of finding me. With those thoughts and my friends by my side, I danced the rest of the night with them and enjoyed myself. ❤️

That night’s mantra: With friends and family, I will get through anything!