My car got egged!

You read right.

MY car got EGGED. As we drove into my house, we immediately noticed eggshells around my car. And, yup, Grayheart was with me. He seemed pretty shocked and immediately was like “oh, we’ve been egged before, like on Halloween a few years ago.”

I was like whaaaaa?!?! No, mo’ fo, this looks like the work of a pissed off biyatch that wants us to think it was random. My car was hit front, side and back. Someone targeted ME. Not my house, not my neighbors (I checked with each of them)… ME.

I went crazy on him, of course. He sheepishly defended her saying that she’d probably not do something like that. But I could see how uncertain he was. I know he believes it’s unlikely but he couldn’t say it with confidence. Put it this way, there was enough doubt that he started washing my car immediately without being prompted.

Suuuure, a homewrecker would be above egging a vehicle. 👌

I’m sure Raggedy was bitter that her boyfriend was with his ex-wife on a family trip. And what better cover than to make it look like some random act of vandalism?

While finishing my car, he apologetically offered sympathy for being targeted. He said he was going to question her and that if it was her, he’d fully support me kicking her ass. He’s such an idiot. Like she’d really confess.

I’ve got kids to keep safe, y’all. This is my home. She crossed a line. (She’s getting blamed, proof or no proof.)

War has been declared. It’s on. And I’m ready. My name ain’t Athena for nothing!