Iceland Summer Travel

Captain and I went to Iceland for New Year’s this year and enjoyed a beautiful wintry landscape. We loved it so much that we decided to visit again this summer!

In January, we rented an SUV and drove counterclockwise from West Iceland to the southern coast, ending around Jökulsárlón.

This July, we set the loftier goal of touring the whole island by car. So we continued our counterclockwise agenda and left Reykjavík the moment we arrived.

Old turf house/storage

We nicknamed these areas “Troll Dunes”

Beautiful Icelandic horses at every turn

One of the many falls we came across

Little hidden waterfall in Skaftafell – Vatnajokull National Park

Svartifoss

Jokulsarlon Glacier Lagoon

It is possibly the most beautiful sight in all of Iceland 💙

Diamond Beach

East Iceland – random stop along our drive

Hverir – geothermal spot near Lake Mývatn

Fishing for brown trout at River Laxa

Charming guesthouse at Blönduos

Seal watching commonly done from Hvammstangi

Hólmavík

Western fjords

Wildflowers everywhere! Heydalur Country Guesthouse

Soaking in a hot pot is heavenly

Ended our trip in the lovely city of Reykjavík

We had an amazing time and loved every town we visited. Icelandic folks are kind and welcoming… and made of steel. I don’t know if there are tougher people around!

Eight days is ambitious to drive the whole country but since it was our second visit, we avoided some of the spots we’d visited already. If we return one day, I would love to take my time in the western fjords. So much to see and not enough time to do it all!

Many bloggers helped influence the decision to visit this magical country. So thank you for sharing your travel photos and stories! Feel free to share more Iceland recommendations and thoughts…

Bless, bless!

💙 Athena

How you doin?

Been a minute since I’ve been on here.

How you doin?

I’m good! Finished another school year teaching rugrat 5th graders (that I love). I see myself becoming a better educator and feel proud to have the relationship I do with those kids. 💗

My own kids are getting big! 7&10! Yikes! We are having a fun summer spending lots of quality time and doing fun rambunctious things.

I’m still co-parenting fairly well with my ex, Grayheart. Hiccups along the way, of course, but I’d give it a ratio of 90/10 in terms of the ratio of our positive to negative interactions. I marvel at how little I actually think about my marriage to him. Almost 5 years later and I don’t remember the details I used to. He’s dating a woman that will soon be moving to Miami with her two kids… in with him. She’s nice. I wish them well. I hope he does her better. But I know who he is. And chances are he’ll screw over another nice woman. Oh well.

As for me, I am still in a wonderfully committed relationship with Captain. We continue to drive the hour regularly between Miami and the Keys to see each other. I continue to count my blessings because he is an excellent man and partner.

We have a busy summer planned… Captain and I are going to Iceland, then I’ll be traveling to Nashville for my sister’s bachelorette party (millennials, sigh),  then taking my kids to see my brother in a California, and finally doing a lovely beach holiday weekend with my closest girlfriends. Just writing it down intimidates me! But it’s not a bad problem to have. 😉

Would love to hear how my friends in the blogosphere are. Sending you all lots of cariño.

xo Athena

Southern Livin’

Captain and I road tripped through the South last week and had such a lovely time! We got our fill of good eats and just truly enjoyed the quality time (sans kids). My man’s been working like crazy so it was nice to see him not exhausted from the physical labor of his job (fishing in 100F weather).

So we left Miami and headed to our first stop…St Augustine, FL:

Then, we hit Beaufort, SC:

Next stop was Charleston, SC:

And our grand finale was Savannah, GA:

Loved, loved, loved every moment of it! I’m still dreaming about the food…

Your biscuit-and-fried-chicken-loving friend,

Athena xo

Too Quiet?

My kids have been on vacation with their father in the northeast for a week and there’s one week left to go. I’ve had a hard time being without them. You’d think I’d be thrilled and make the most of my alone time and appreciate the quiet, right? Ugh. Kinda.

I have enjoyed spending the week in the Keys with Captain. Snorkeling, biking, walking, reading, etc. Alone time with him. We rarely get uninterrupted time so it’s been fantastic. But holy hell is it a quiet life without kids! Too quiet.

I have the summer off and spend loads of time with the kids. So having them gone for so long is rough. And not just because I enjoy them but also because I am neurotic and worry endlessly about their safety while they’re gone. I hate to even put it into words but I have nightmares about kidnappings, trafficking, drownings, car accidents, etc. I try to keep it under control and not be crazy… but man. I’m crazy.

I am not crazy enough to not recognize that I’m lucky they have a father that’s involved. His new girlfriend is with them and she’s been fantastic keeping watch and updating me about them. And at 6 and 9 years old, my kids are very fortunate to visit New England and family all along the northeast US. All good stuff.

So I’m just having a moment. One of those self pitying moments where I hate what comes with divorce with young kids.

On another note, I have realized that I need (A) some other teacher friends that are chilling this summer or (B) unemployed and adventurous wealthy friends, to hang with while Captain is out working. Day drinking is no fun alone. (I kid. Kinda. But, seriously, any volunteers?! 😜)

On a positive note, Captain and I will take a road trip tomorrow! We’re going to drive up to Charleston with several stops along the way. Lots of good eats! I’m currently working on my southern drawl. Saying “reckon” just doesn’t sound right yet with my Miami accent. I’ll get it!

xo

Athena

Happy Divorce Anniversary to Me

I completely missed that a little over a year ago I officially divorced from Grayheart. So happy anniversary to me for that milestone!

It’s been over 3 and a half years since we separated. And as I reflect, I’ve noticed a few things.

1. I no longer have the “need” or even desire to understand what went wrong. I no longer dissect it or try to make sense of it. He is a selfish man, I married the wrong person, and I now know better.
2. I’ve learned from my mistakes. I think I was still a good wife but there are many things I could have done better. I am a better partner now. I appreciate things that truly matter. Little things count.
3. Nothing lasts forever and there’s a sort of comfort you have the first time around that leaves you after a divorce. You no longer sit comfortably thinking you can’t be dethroned. Someone can vow to love you forever but they won’t stick around if you’re no longer lovable. Anyone can be replaced. Sounds negative but I feel like it’s just a more realistic point of view. And it pretty much applies to all in life.
4. I’m fiercer and less willing to put up with anything I think is beneath me. I refuse to fall into old patterns in relationships.
5. My bond with my kids is even stronger than I thought possible. I grateful for every moment with them since I now see them less than I would have if I’d had an intact household.
6. It’s not fair but I have to put in more effort than my ex does when it comes to the kids. I do more and that’s just the way it is. It’s draining at times but whining that life isn’t fair just doesn’t help.
7. The things that drove me crazy about my ex still annoy the hell out of me. But I don’t have to deal with him in my face every day. I’m free from his darkness.
8. I no longer feel like I need to be connected somehow to Grayheart. We are not really friends. We are family, I guess? It’s reminiscent of an annoying cousin you care for and would be there for if they need you, but you don’t really talk to often. Every now and then he and I have a good quality conversation, especially about the kids. But I prefer not to be around him.
9. His life has not drastically improved since we parted. He’s in debt. His weight has fluctuated. He’s changed jobs. He’s no longer friends with the “divorce is awesome” crew that encouraged the single life. He is no longer with Raggedy (she moved to Maryland). He has the kids to truly be proud of but that’s because I take care of everything. He’s screwed up everything around him.
10. I have moments of frustration and sadness for my children but I haven’t cried about my divorce since the day it was officially confirmed. I think I poured out everything left at that moment. There is magic that happens within the 2 to 3 year mark. You really do heal. If you do it the right way. I faced it, received wonderful counseling, and managed to co-parent well through the worst of it. And somewhere along the way, I found a magnificent man as a partner.

So happy anniversary to me. I won’t “celebrate” it because I no longer define myself by it. It’s old news and I’m too busy moving straight ahead! I wish those of you going through a divorce a ton of strength and faith through the process. It does get better.

xo Athena

Vows to Myself

Once my ex-husband, Grayheart, decided he was “miserable” with me and left our home after 13 years of being together, I decided I needed to make serious change to my whole self. 

As I reflect back on things I could have done better, I often think about how I let myself go after I had kids. I’ve never been a vain person. I never really cared about being the prettiest or skinniest or most fashionable. I was always the goofy, fun, funny gal. 

But when you are a twenty something year old, it works for you. You don’t have to try to be pretty; you have youth and vigor going for you. When you’re an overweight, graying, cranky, thirty something year old mama… you better think again!

No longer are you considered fresh faced if you go sans make up. Nope. Now you look tired. 

You’re no longer a carefree, rebellious, Sporty Spice type if you wear tanks, cargo shorts and sneakers… Nope again. People then think you are a sloppy, part time trucker and not the sophisticated woman that should be next to your professional man’s side. 

And oohwee! Do not let that white hair show! It was whimsical when I had premature silver strands at the bubbly age of 21. Not even slightly cute when my washed-out-resting-bitch face accompanied roots that made me look like I was part skunk. 

Frankly, I hate the whole dog and pony show because I am very low maintenance. But I’m not a girl that’s naturally pretty without putting effort. So I had to make some changes. Why? Because I needed to look in the mirror and smile back at a person that appeared to care about themself. (I was so disgusted with myself I used to avoid looking in mirrors.) And, let’s be real, who the hell wants to date anyone that looks like someone’s leftovers?!  

So I made myself some vows January 1, 2015:

• I will not leave the house without earrings, perfume, mascara and lip gloss.
• I will make better attempts at doing my hair. I shoot for blow drying it weekly. (Which leads me to always having my hair down rather than in a ponytail for Captain.)
• I will NEVER wear huge Tshirts to bed for my partner. 
• I will wear either a sexy nightie or nothing to bed with my partner.
• I will always make an effort to look pretty for my partner. 
• I will not wear saggy butt jeans. (My sister hated those Old Navy jeans that stretched and sagged after half a day’s wear, lol!)
• I will exercise at least 4 times a week and keep my weight to something I’m confident and comfortable with.
• I will always greet my partner with excitement and love when I see  or talk to him on the phone. A smile is the best thing to wear, right?
• I will keep my nails manicured and feminine.
• I will always be nicely groomed. I did laser hair removal so gone is the lack of shaving legs or bikini area or underarms! (Whew! What a relief that was! As a Cubana, it was a full time job grooming! Lol!)
• I will maintain good posture.
• Finally, I will (try to) sleep more. 

Nothing too crazy here, right?

I am my worst critic. Like, baaaad. I’m not saying this has solved any of my deeper issues but it has helped. Part of feeling good is looking the part. And it has forced me to give myself attention rather than always focusing on everyone else. 

Since I’ve been doing this list, I see the difference in how I carry myself. I am happier and more confident. I’m still a work in progress but now I don’t cringe when I see my reflection. 

Thank you for the awakening, Grayheart. This became my re-birth.

xo

Life with Captain – 6 months!

I thought I’d give an update on my relationship with Captain since a few people have asked me about him…

Captain and I recently celebrated the sixth month anniversary of our first date.  It blows my mind that this relationship is a result of a good online dating match! It was my first time online dating (he had also only been on a short time) and he was my first date!  I know I’m lucky and that this is not usually the case for most people.  And given how many funny things I came across while I was on Match, I can see why! Lol!

I’ve fallen pretty deeply in love with him and feel very loved and fortunate to be in such a healthy, easy relationship.  He’s been my support during tough times and nurtured the wounds that are still tender.  Captain is divorced and I think that really helps. A failed marriage tends to really put things in perspective; at least for those who have used it as a learning experience.

We have opted to wait a bit longer before he meets my kids.  My little She-ra expressed some serious concerns last month regarding mommy and daddy living apart and ever re-marrying.  It was totally out of left field. She was hysterical and it absolutely devastated me.  Grayheart introduced the kids to his whore, Raggedy Ann, shortly before that and I’m certain that affected her.  (She’s been introduced as a “co-worker/friend.”)  That’s a whole other issue… So, I’m waiting on intros with Captain until I feel it’s right for everyone.

In the meantime, I’m loving this cutesy lovey dovey honeymoon stage!  I really look forward to what’s in store for us.

Thank you to all my peeps that have been so supportive and positive with this relationship and my divorce blues. The good juju sent my way has really helped.  It means a lot. 🙂

xoxo – Besitos!

Keys Life

I’ve been negligent of my blogging duties… It’s been a fun summer. I’ve had my kids all summer long during the day and Grayheart and I continued or arrangement of splitting weekends. During my “time off” from the kids, I mainly spend it in the Keys with Captain. 

Captain usually rents a house each year with some friends for a month in Key West.  I hadn’t been down there in over a decade and forgot just how much fun it is!

 

90 miles to Cuba!

I am very much into outdoor adventures and grew up around the water. So to be out there snorkeling, boating, fishing, bike riding everywhere and just smelling the salt water… Sigh… It was truly relaxing and restorative.

 

Catch & release of a jack!

 

Snorkeling!

  

Snorkeled around mangroves

  

See the little lemon shark?! Saw lots of em!

 
 

By the docks

  

These lil dudes are everywhere!

  

See the tarpon?

 
  I had a fantastic time just relaxing and came back to my kids in such a good mood. It’s amazing what proper rest can do for your soul!

 

Little Palm Island ferry

  

View at brunch

  

Protected key deer

 
By the way, there’s been a lot going on and I’ve had many ups and downs during the divorce process these last few months. It’s certainly not been all roses and daisies. I’m just sometimes too worked up to even write. I will get back on it but, for now, I’m trying to focus on the positive and things that aren’t so heavy. 

xoxo

Friday Night Fun – Sushi & Sunsets

Just a quickie…

  
Captain and I went to dinner at Kaiyo Japanese Grill in Islamorada.  The food was phenomenal!  We then sat by the pier at Morada Bay with some drinks as we watched the sun set.

 
Sometimes I have to pinch myself because I can’t believe how lucky I am. A year ago I was in shambles and now I’m in the most romantic relationship I’ve ever been in and feel incredibly independent.  My life is far from perfect but I’m really working on focusing on “me” since this process started.

  
Besitos y amor to you all!

Mother’s Day Recap

I hope you all had a wonderful Mother’s Day! 

My mother’s day was quite nice.  The kids made me breakfast in bed.  Since they’re only 3 and 6, Grayheart came over and helped them in this endeavor.  My little rugrats then presented me with a cute card and necklace that has their names inscribed on it.  (I love it!)  I was surprised to see that Grayheart, also, gave me a card and some chocolates.  

 
I thought it was a sweet gesture and he was thoughtful with what he wrote.  I’m a damn good mom and I’m glad he recognizes it.  

He left shortly after breakfast and we didn’t talk much but he gets a point for effort.  This is actually the second card he’s gotten me this year.  (I don’t think I mentioned that he got me a birthday card in April.  Not much was written but it was a nice move.)  His birthday is now coming up this week…I guess the question is should I get him a birthday card as well?  

The rest of the day was spent with my wonderful mom, grandmother, kids and rest of my family.  We had a lovely homecooked brunch.   I relaxed and did pretty much nothing most of the day.

Captain came to visit after the kids went to sleep that night.  He brought me sushi and we had our own little picnic.  And oooweeee! Did I get a rockin present that night!  Something to do with whipped cream and dessert… 😉

To all my mommy blog friends out there, I hope you were treated like the queens you are!

Mother’s Day Mantra:  I am Wonder Woman.  I deserve a day off from saving the world!