City of Siblings

I was in the City of Angels last week with my sister visiting our brother and his husband. (The kids stayed backed in Miami with Grayheart since it was his weekend.)

It was a fun and relaxing trip. We hadn’t gotten together like this since our Europe trip in Sept/Oct of last year. 

I figured I’d share some of the fun things we did while here. 🙂

doggy

How we were greeted! 😍

Palm Springs living!

venice beach

Being silly on Venice Beach

tmz tour, los angeles

TMZ tour

beverly hills, 90210

90210

los angeles, chinese theater

Chinese Theater

hollywood, robin williams

My fave actor/comedian’s star

breakfast, french toast, nutella

Nutella French toast for breakfast

bachata , dancing

Bachata dancing

In-n-Out Burger! Yum!

My sis at Sweet Candy Store

It was a nice little getaway and
really great bonding time with my siblings.
Makes me proud that even in our thirties we still make time for each other. I hope my kids are just as close to each other as we are. It’s really a special thing to have siblings. 

I can’t wait for the next reunion! ❤️

xo

Captain’s Mama

I have now met Captain’s mom and stepfather a few times. They were here last month and met my kids for the second time.

They were wonderful with the kids and great houseguests the couple of days they were in town with us.

We had them over for a big Cuban dinner and then my own mom and stepfather stopped by. We had such a great time! We all talked and laughed and got on incredibly well.

Captain’s mom was so sweet to get us all a cake since she wasnt around for bdays!


Captain looked very proud to show off to his family what he had here. It was as if this was his family, his home… HIS.

Family time with Captain’s mom

And it made me really proud. I had such doubt at the beginning of our relationship about his ability to blend with my family. And yet I’m watching it all with my very own eyes progress in such a natural way. 

At Pinecrest Gardens… I took the photo of the gang!

 

Aren’t these Banyan trees marvelous?!


Pretty damn cool. 🙂

Lemonade 🍋 & Infidelity

Even Beyoncé is not safe from a cheating spouse. 

I’m referring to her new album, Lemonade, in which she refers to infidelity and issues in what we can assume is her marriage. See this article if you want a summary. 

 
I don’t know the whole story and most is just conjecture. It seems that Beyoncé ultimately forgives Jay-Z and opts to stick with him and keep her family together, etc.  

  
But what really got me about this whole thing is just how the Internet exploded with such disdain for the alleged “side chick”, Rachel Roy. Beyonce’s fans went ballistic with the ballsy comment Roy left on her social media account. They left all kinds of nasty comments and emojis showing unity with Queen Bey (🍋🐝). 

  
And although I don’t support the bullying tactics or even dumb comments, it was refreshing to see that people still find it wrong to be the “other woman” or to even gloat about it. (I’m not even going to touch on the fact that Jay-Z is an ass and I hope has shame over the situation.) There’s nothing cool about infidelity. And I think there’s been a trend lately to just accept that it happens and get over it.

And then there’s an even bigger trend to actually leave your partner for these side hoes! Did this happen as often twenty or thirty years ago? Were people more conservative and caring of others’ judgments then? Am I just noticing it more now because my husband cheated and left our marriage?

I don’t know if the whole Beyoncé thing is a publicity stunt or her truly wanting to get these feelings off her chest. She’s making millions off of it and somehow even Rachel Roy is profiting. (You know what they say, no such thing as bad publicity.) So I might be a fool for discussing it but the whole debaucle really struck a nerve. More than it should have.

Marriage should be sacred. And respected by all. Not just the two married.

  
But as a funny side note, did y’all see the dummies that were harassing Rachael Ray? I lost my shit laughing at some of the comments!!

   
   

Sorry for the messy thoughts… xo

Spontaneity

What do you do when your city is hot as Hades but the sky is bright and the most gorgeous shade of blue?

You grab a cooler, pack sandwiches and take the kiddos to la playa

It was my weekend with the kids and I wanted to do something fun so I took the hour drive to Islamorada! There’s a little beach there that’s really family friendly and quiet. 

  


 

We met Captain after work at the marina. (How nice to have that as his “office”, right?) And then decided to have a pizza dinner at his house. The kids were thrilled as they had never been to his place before. It was fun seeing him entertaining my brood on his turf.

(And it was especially fun hearing the tinge of jealousy in Grayheart’s voice as the kids relayed their day to him.)

It was a wonderful weekend for a number of reasons but the beach was the highlight! I have to remember to be more spontaneous with the kids!

☀️❤️🏖

Collateral Damage

When your kids are sad – and I don’t mean mad or annoyed – but downright sad, it breaks your heart in a way you can’t even explain. You feel like your whole body is lead. Just heavy and dull and blah. Your brain kinda fogs up and you can’t think straight.

I’ve been in a bit of a funk since my little She-ra (7 yr old) had a difficult time the other night when I dropped her off at Daddy’s (aka Grayheart’s) house. She didn’t want to be there, didn’t want to leave me, etc. She does this frequently. Not as much lately but I figure that coming off of the weekend with me was certainly not going to have her want to leave her cozy home to start the weekend with him. (My almost 4 yr old son, though, has no issues.)

So I always leave feeling crummy. She clings to me and cries and begs. And it sucks. 

She usually gets over it soon thereafter and Grayheart normally texts me to let me know all is good. 

But this time she took a bit longer to recover. She wailed to him how unfair this whole set up is. She wanted to be at her home. Not his

So he patiently listened to her as she complained that the divorce is the cause of him not being at home. And that she doesn’t understand it, doesn’t like it and wishes he’d just move back in. 

What do you say to that?! I mean, honestly, you respond with the typical explanation: how it’s this way for a reason, blah, blah, blah… but she’s right. Divorce sucks. She’s been put in a position where she has to split her time between the two adults she loves the absolute most. And since she’s 7, she remembers having an intact household. (Whereas my son doesn’t.)

So he talked her through it – and did a nice job, I must admit – and she recovered. But it’s moments like this that just pop out of nowhere – even a year and a half later – that throw you off. That even though they’re “ok” and “doing well”, kids are collateral damage. And that is depressing.

My friend, TheEuphoricIraqiSingleMom, brought up recently the topic of staying in a loveless marriage in regards to a friend of hers. I’ve thought about it before. How much would I be willing to sacrifice to make sure my kids had an intact, whole family? Could I ever get back with Grayheart just for the kids? Could I ever forgive what he’s done to me? Could I pretend I love him just to make sure I could be with my kids all the time? 

And the answer is, I can’t. I don’t see him the same. I don’t love him like I once did. He actually repulses me, in a way. I know I’d never get back with him but sometimes I’m disappointed in myself because it seems selfish. I know from a logical standpoint that I’m being silly, but that little voice loves to taunt me at times. Especially when I have a setback with my kids.

Anyway, darling daughter is fine now and hasn’t brought up any concerns…and seemed to have a lovely weekend with her father. So, I’m guessing this is normal.

Nonetheless, divorce sucks. 

xo

Athena

Spring has Sprung!

March was a busy month and April is proving to be just as exciting! I love Spring! Lots of birthdays this time of year for us and all kinds of celebrations. 

Here’s a bit of why I have been missing (besides my phone-in-toilet situation)!

My darling daughter turned 7!

  

I’m certainly no cake decorator but we did a home celebration for her!

Ice cream made with liquid nitrogen! Aptly called Brain Freeze!

Took the kids to the Dade County Youth Fair!

 
 

Visit to the ballet! My first time!

  

Bravo! Midsummer’s Night Dream cast

Coffee at Books & Books

 
 

Discovered a restaurant in Key Largo that we love called “Lucy’s”!

 
 

Third row seats to the Miami Heat vs Cavs game! Kindly gifted to us by a friend!

   

Outside the arena with my love ❤️

 

These seats were incredible! Such an exciting game!

 
 

Attended a Cancer Survivor Walk with my family 💜

 
 

My mom, my hero and favorite woman in the world! 4 years cancer free now!

 
   

Happy St Paddy’s Day!

 

Easter Egg Race

  

Tons of goodies found by Spiderman!

 

Easter sack race!

And finally we start April… I turned 36 and had a ton of fun with all the birthday festivities! Captain made it very special for me. We had an incredible weekend complete with mini golf, driving range, laser tag, games at Dave & Busters, a tennis match, wonderful dinners, movies and shopping! Whew! 

Mini Golf!

Laser Tag with my besties!

  

Awesome seats at the Miami Open!

  

   

Women’s Finals match! Victoria Azarenka serving!


   

 

Mens’ Doubles Finals Match

       

Bday dinner at the Rusty Pelican in Key Biscayne

  

Night of dancing!

  

Gaming!

 

 

Paint Nite & dinner with my Mom

  

Final product! I’m obviously no artist but boy is it fun!

  

Nature walk at Pinecrest Gardens & Farmers Market time!

 

It’s been a fun filled few weeks and I feel very loved and blessed. I have an incredible family, boyfriend and group of friends. Never imagined I’d be here. A year ago I was grappling with uncertainty, pain, bouts of sadness, unsure of a new relationship, tons of concern for my kids, anger and confusion. I can’t say it’s all 100% gone but I can certainly say I’m a good 80% better. And I’ll take that. I’m looking straight ahead and welcoming what’s in store for me and my kids.
Thank you all for checking in on me and always supporting my progress. ❤️💜❤️

Besos,

Athena

I’ve been MIA!

And I’m sorry. I first shattered the screen of my phone. Then got it repaired.

And then a few days later – late last week – I dropped my phone in the toilet. Ugh. Long story.

Nonetheless, I finally have a new phone today and will try to catch up on everyone this weekend! (My cell phone is the only way I use WordPress.)

It’s nice to be connected again! Felt like I was in the dark ages!

Hope you all are well! xo

Captain – One Year Later

Captain and I recently celebrated our one year anniversary. It’s hard to believe that what started as a connection on Match.com has turned into a really wonderful and healthy relationship. 

 
Captain was married once before. His ex-wife suffers from bipolar disorder.  He took care of her and they loved each other a great deal.  At some point, though, she was out of town and had an affair/one-night stand during a manic episode there. She, of course, regretted the indiscretion and hid it for some time.  

Well, we all know the saying: The truth always comes out.  It crushed him when he found out. That was the one and only thing he said he’d never forgive. Captain immediately filed for divorce. The marriage lasted about 3 years and she probably hid her secret for almost a year. He couldn’t forgive her infidelity. He felt as if he’d been played for a fool.

Fidelity, loyalty and trust are important traits for him. The lessons he learned from his divorce have given him a no-nonsense view on what to expect and how to be in a relationship. He’s never played games with me and holds himself to as high of standards as he holds me. I appreciate this and easily follow suit.   

  
Most of you know my story and how my husband, Grayheart, broke my heart.  The separation, albeit tough, was not the most devastating aspect of the whole situation since I’d been unhappy for a long time.  It was the start of the emotional affair with his co-worker whore/later-turned-girlfriend, Raggedy, and the sneakiness that really did me in.  

  
I was pushed out of my comfy, predictable life and all of a sudden thrown into a whirlwind of uncertainties and emotions. I didn’t think I would fall in love again and I, sure as shit, did not think I’d ever trust a man.  I figured I’d casually date for years until one day I’d meet a quality guy I’d like to spend time with. And then the universe knocked me on my ass and connected me with a man that made my heart skip a beat.  

Captain’s past experiences, kindness and love for me really have given me faith.  I believe that there might actually be good and valiant men out there that are capable of cherishing a deserving woman.  I trust this man more with my feelings than I ever have any man.  I grew up hearing that relationships were incredibly hard work.  And so I tolerated so much crap from Grayheart thinking that’s what marriage was. But what if they don’t have to be that hard?  

What if good relationships were meant to navigate the tough times together and keep each other lifted when the outside world threw challenges at you?  

What if you could be two different people but co-exist well together without bringing each other down?

I had moments like that during my marriage but the majority of it was weighed down by Grayheart’s negativity.  But I trucked on… because that’s what marriage was?

I am wiser now, I’d like to think. I value things differently and am a better partner as a result of a failed marriage. I’d like to think that Captain and I work so well together because we both appreciate the things we previously took for granted. I promised myself that I will never put my relationship in cruise control. 

So, if there’s one good thing that’s come out of this experience, it’s not just finding but really appreciating a man like Captain. 

 

How did we celebrate our one year anniversary? We re-did our first date. It was just as magical. This time, though, I took him home with me! 😉

  
Thanks for letting me be gushy. Lol! Here’s to love! 🍾
XO

Sending over my MSA today

I am sending over my attorney’s revised Marital Separation Agreement (MSA) today to Grayheart. There aren’t a ton of changes to the document but I did ask for one more year of “bridge-the-gap” alimony. 

 
We originally agreed that this school year (til Sept 2016), I would continue to be a stay-at-home mom while working part time as a substitute teacher. He pays child support and covers the mortgage as my spousal support. I will go back to working full time in September. 

I’m now asking him for one more year of half the cost of the mortgage. I don’t think it’s unreasonable. (Frankly, I could and should ask for more.) But I have all sorts of conflicted feelings towards alimony. Anyway, I thought this would be a good way to make sure I properly get back on my feet.

(As a side note, I’m also a bit nervous about going back to work full-time – after being gone for 3 years – and juggling the kids as a single parent. I know I’ll be fine but it’s still a bit intimidating.) 

I think Grayheart will scoff and be resistant at first for the additional year but I think we’ll be able to figure it out. At least I hope so. 

I’m a procrastinator with a capital P. I’ve been dragging my feet on this divorce paperwork for some time because I want to avoid the conflict that will likely arise as a result of it.

I hate fighting and I hate how anxious and depressed I get about it. 

I hate asking for things. Especially money. 

Wish me luck. 

xo