Officially Divorced

I am officially divorced.  Grayheart and I went before a judge last week to legally terminate our marriage.

We sat in court and watched the first set of couples (represented by attorneys) go through the process. The judge was very polite and seemed to be quite thorough in his review of each case. He asked questions if he found anything incorrect in their Marriage Settlement Agreement (MSA),  child support, or parenting plan. If he didn’t, he sped right through his few questions.

    Is your marriage irretrievably broken? Are you currently pregnant? Can you identify the signatures on the agreement? Were you coerced or forced into agreement on the MSA? Are there any assets that need to be decided here today? Did you and your spouse provide each other financial documentation? Are you asking for a former name to be restored? 

    It’s a fairly quick process. After watching a few, I felt comfortable that ours would go well. But it’s a weird, out of body experience. 

    While staring at the couples ahead of us, I mumbled to Grayheart that although I was relieved we were putting an end to this process, it was still…

    Sad. He finished my sentence without looking me in the eye. I stared down at my feet as I knew my eyes were welling up. I heard the shake in his voice. 

    He felt it. He knew it. It was confirmation to me that our life was not completely based on a lie. And in that small statement, I knew he once loved me. And it shouldn’t matter but it helps. I wasn’t in it all these years because I was totally crazy.

    Once it was our turn to be called up, I’d pulled myself together. The judge asked his questions, we answered, they worked on my name change papers… and that was it. Five minutes. Five minutes?

    Done. 

    Divorced.

    We walked out silently. Numb with quiet shock. What do you really say after that? 

    By the time we walked out of the courthouse, I knew I was going to cry. It’s hard to explain why. I welcomed the divorce at this point. I’m happy it’s over. But it’s truly over. After many years of memories and ties, the only tie we now have to each other are the kids. 

    And it’s not a bad thing. It’s just a major thing. 

    I sobbed the whole car ride back home. It was my final goodbye…. it felt right to exorcise that last demon. 

    Farewell to old me. ❤️

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    22 thoughts on “Officially Divorced

    1. KC says:

      Awww… I think it was your closure, and every ending is bittersweet. As sad as it is, now you can put that chapter behind. Time to fully welcome the you of now.

      Hugs 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I was exactly the same with mine. Although we didn’t go through seeing a judge I got a letter saying “the marriage was dissolved”. Like you I felt sad and numb that it was all officially over. I wouldn’t want to go back to that marriage but it was still sad.

      I guess its a form of grief for the life we thought we would have.

      Here is to new beginnings and happiness x

      and well done you on making it though!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hello! Nice to see you drop by! 🙂
        It’s a weird feeling, right? One of those complicated, final stages of grief. Luckily, we all have a strong support group and network of people that understand. Thank you for these words. Xo

        Like

      • The sadness is gone; I think it’s just one of those final stages to hit to really say goodbye.
        And to be honest, if I wasn’t divorcing soon, I sure as hell would still be sad because Captain would’ve left my ass! 😉 He’s definitely happy that he’s dating a “single” woman. Lol!

        Liked by 1 person

    3. I have thoroughly enjoyed your posts because it helped me feel like I was not alone in my thoughts, experiences and feelings even down to the very end. It is a bittersweet moment. It has made me question a lot but I know it was all for the better at the end. Joy comes in the morning. I make it through day by day and step by step. Time to rock it out!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you, my friend! I’m definitely in better spirits about it. 🙂 Nice job, btw, on your home renovation projects. Sounds like you’ve been settling well in your new spot. You are amazing! 😘

        Like

      • I wish you the best of luck at your hearing next month. It is hard to fully let go of a life you had for so long. I feel like I live differently now. Never again naive and so immersed. Much more cautious and thoughtful about my decisions. It’s a good and a bad thing, I guess. I look forward to reading about your journey! ❤️

        Like

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