Filed for Divorce

We finally filed a petition to divorce last week!

After 2.5 years of separation. (I know, it’s so embarrassing. I cringe saying it.)

Grayheart announced his misery September 2014 and moved out Nov 2014. It feels like a century ago, but at times it feels like it happened a week ago. Funny how trauma plays tricks on your mind. 

We went to the courthouse center and filled out a ton of paperwork. It’s obnoxious and tedious and a very tangible reminder of why we’ve procrastinated the process for so long. Divorce (especially with kids) is inconvenient and paper intense! I thought I’d be sadder but I felt pretty ok. Not necessarily cheerful but not glum. It just felt like we were handling business. 


I’m now waiting on notification of my hearing date. That should take about 30-60 days. I’m hoping it’s sooner than later. I’d like to get it over and done with. 

And I’d like a divorce celebration. Not a cheesy in-your-face-tacky-I’m-old-pretending-to-be-young-and-fake cool-kind of party. A symbolic and tasteful one. The kind where I bring together loved ones that kept me sane throughout this process and truly thank them for keeping me alive during the death of my marriage. I would love to have them surrounding me as I take my first steps as a “free” woman.

I’m in a good place. My separation with Grayheart has been amicable and my kids are well. We don’t argue much and tread carefully when it comes to parenting issues. Our efforts to protect the kids from unnecessary stress and pain have been well managed. I feel like I took the shittiest of situations, put my big girl pants on, and persevered. Divorce is a battle of wills and emotions. I refused to let emotions ruin my kids. (I must note that I’m fairly certain that remarkable restraint ages one at a much more accelerated pace than someone who is a loose cannon.)

I’m not proud of my divorce but I’m proud of how I’ve handled it. And I think I’m the winner because of it.

Moral of the Story: Divorce does not define me. And I win because I say so. 😉

I hope you guys are great. I have several updates but I figure this is an important one I should track on my timeline. 

xo Athena

51 thoughts on “Filed for Divorce”

  1. No divorce doesn’t define you! Take it from someone that got shoveled a poop sandwich and managed to make it edible three years later. I almost fell out of my chair when I saw a new post from the world famous Athena!

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

        • How have you been? I know you’ve been doing photography posts but have been pretty quiet on a personal note. Kids and family well? Are things quieter at work? Everything settled well after the acquisition?

          Liked by 1 person

        • Yeah, all is well. Kids are fine, but wearing us out with archery season and band and music lessons. The work thing was a bit rough at first, but going well since. I actually have grown to like my new boss, so that’s a blessing. You’re right about my posts. I’ve kinda morphed into my photography almost exclusively. Not many on a real personal level. Have t made a music related post in months either. Go figure. I’m just goin’ with the flow and what strikes me. It’s photos at the moment. I still have those personal chats with a few of my closer WP friends, but usually in relation to something they may post about. I’m still around though. Daily. Hope you’ll be around more too. Again, I’m really happy for you. Hope the next chapter is fantastic! It can be whatever you want it to be. 😊😊

          Liked by 1 person

  4. How great it was to see your lovely avatar again. Congrats on moving to the next step and congrats on doing it with such grace. I have much to learn. I continue to wish you and your beautiful babies well xx

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    • Hello, my dear friend!! Thank you for those sweet words. I know you’ve come up on tough anniversaries too… why is this process so harrowing? I think your ex is much more temperamental than mine so you’ve had to put up with a whole lotta crap longer than ever necessary so don’t beat yourself up. I hope you and your kids are well. xoxo 😘

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  5. Moving forward with this is never easy but you are doing it and I wish you the best of luck during this process. Hopefully it won’t take long and you can get through it unscathed. Then it’s time to start living for you. We are all here for you if you need anything.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
      • E says:

        Ah you noticed! I have been quiet as I was not doing so well. The entire saga has caused me constant high stress and it has affected my health. I was developing a training program for a company on stress and it just it me: I have been under constant high stress and I have all the symptoms of burnout. I decided not to offer the training and lie low for a while.
        I will get over this. I have to, as I have kids!
        Thanks for asking :)!

        Liked by 2 people

        Reply

        • Of course I noticed! It’s funny how you can connect with certain people even if you’ve never met. 🙂
          Stress. Sheesh. As a single parent and professional woman, how could you not be stressed?! Life hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park for you. (Not saying it’s a bad life; saying that you have a remarkable ability to persevere amongst the toughest of situations.) I’m glad your “aha!” moment came at the right time (funny given the training program) and you’ve taken a step back. I hope you rest, find your middle, and feel better. I have no doubt you’ll do so. Don’t be hard on yourself. Baby steps! Xoxo

          Liked by 1 person

  8. totallycaroline says:

    You are so awesome and inspirational. Congratulations on getting through this with so much grace and good humor. You are a true lady. ❤❤👸🏻❤❤

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
      • totallycaroline says:

        OMG work is killing me these days, but I had the day off and spent way more than I should have… so it was awesome 😃 taking a teeny break from blogging for now, I just don’t feel inspired to write. I don’t want to force it.
        So happy to read your post. I’ve missed u.
        ❤❤❤

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

        • Lol! Spending more is practically a given when we’re women that enjoy shopping! 😉 Glad it was a good day. Enjoy your break from blogging. It should be an outlet not an obligation for you. I’m glad you got that pompous, asshole dude out of your life, though. (Not Birdy) I didn’t like anything you’d written about him. Negative energy around him. Good job weeding out the bad.

          Liked by 1 person

        • I’ve missed you too! Glad you enjoyed today! Much deserved, lol! And really glad you got rid of the last asshole dude. Too negative 👎

          The blogging break is good. It should be an outlet for you when you need it. Not an obligation.

          Sending you a big hug!! Xoxo xoxo

          Liked by 1 person

  9. Congratulations. That’s a big deal and you’ll deserve a celebration. Big breath out: you made it. And you have lots to be proud of. I know divorce can be a dirty word but you can be proud about getting out of a bad situation with grace, and having the courage to do a hard thing.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • Hello, my lovely friend!! Thank you; I appreciate the support. I know you know just how “fun” the divorce process can be. I love when you share your little bits of your personal life within your posts. They’re not often but they’re just as enjoyable to read as your reviews. I’ve been quiet but know that your movie reviews are the only thing I go by, lol! Love getting them in my email inbox. I hope you enjoyed Austin! 😘

      Like

      Reply

  12. There’s a wonderful quote from Louis CK: “no good marriage ever ended in divorce”. This is a great next step for you to find happiness. Better to face an unknown risk of happiness, than love with a comfortable and stable known unhappiness.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  13. Congratulations on filing your petition for divorce! I actually just filed mine earlier this week. My ex and I have not been separated long, as it’s only been a couple months, but I could not imagine being in your shoes for that amount of time. I too just want this chapter of my life to end and for all the legalities to be wrapped up. The paperwork is madness. Good luck to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Hi! Thank you! Congrats to you on moving ahead with your filing. My situation was probably a little unusual in that we agreed I wouldn’t work but part time the first 1.5 yrs and then I’d go back to a full time job. I needed his health insurance so it prolonged the process. Plus, I was very apprehensive about committing to a parenting plan I wasn’t sure would work. We ended up changing it to better meet everyone’s need. It took far too long but it all worked out. I hope yours goes quickly and without any issues. It can be very stressful and upsetting but it’s such a relief when it’s done. Thank you for stopping by and good luck to you on your process!

      Like

      Reply

  14. Hi Divorce with me, I used to follow you on my previous divorce post – lauras, and now I am remarried and posting my new happy life. So who knows…. I do know I have never been this happy. Sometimes the things you dread the most turn out to the be the best thing that ever happened to you.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  15. thebeforeandaftersite says:

    My divorce was just finalized only 3 1/2 months after filing. It went so fast I’m still spinning some. I just started a blog on here to sort out my thoughts on my new life. I pray this all goes smoothly for you. It can happen quickly, it just left me wondering if it’s really real.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  17. brutalhonestyandotherfunthings says:

    I loved loved loved this article. As a woman who is going through a divorce too it brought me a lot of peace seeing that there is a way to get through it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Hello, new friend! Thank you for the kind words. The divorce process is brutal but you do finally get to the other side of it. I still have things I’m sensitive about or mourn but nothing even near what I experienced those first several months! I wish you the best through it and am happy to share anything you have questions on. Good luck! 😘

      Like

      Reply

Leave a comment