Sending over my MSA today

I am sending over my attorney’s revised Marital Separation Agreement (MSA) today to Grayheart. There aren’t a ton of changes to the document but I did ask for one more year of “bridge-the-gap” alimony. 

 
We originally agreed that this school year (til Sept 2016), I would continue to be a stay-at-home mom while working part time as a substitute teacher. He pays child support and covers the mortgage as my spousal support. I will go back to working full time in September. 

I’m now asking him for one more year of half the cost of the mortgage. I don’t think it’s unreasonable. (Frankly, I could and should ask for more.) But I have all sorts of conflicted feelings towards alimony. Anyway, I thought this would be a good way to make sure I properly get back on my feet.

(As a side note, I’m also a bit nervous about going back to work full-time – after being gone for 3 years – and juggling the kids as a single parent. I know I’ll be fine but it’s still a bit intimidating.) 

I think Grayheart will scoff and be resistant at first for the additional year but I think we’ll be able to figure it out. At least I hope so. 

I’m a procrastinator with a capital P. I’ve been dragging my feet on this divorce paperwork for some time because I want to avoid the conflict that will likely arise as a result of it.

I hate fighting and I hate how anxious and depressed I get about it. 

I hate asking for things. Especially money. 

Wish me luck. 

xo

78 thoughts on “Sending over my MSA today”

  6. Athena, good luck – I know how difficult this can be. I have been there – done that. Except I was on the receiving end. That was many, many years ago, no hard feelings now – but it can be a little nerve racking. Hang in there, everything will work out fine. 🙂

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  10. Stand your ground. Ask for what you want. Ask for the moon and the fucking stars. You may not get them but you can still ask. I stood my ground for the first time ever when I filed. I suffered the growling, tooth-showing, snarling, threatening “I’m not paying you fucking alimony!” I just smiled and said nothing. Guess who’s getting alimony?

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  11. You can juggle work and kids. After raising three girls in childcare then in school and now college, I can honestly say they are well-rounded and understand how to work and go to school at the same time. I’d like to think that we make the best examples of how to be strong women. You’ll kill it dear! Cheers

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    • Thanks, Janet. How nice to hear your girls are so well rounded and hard working.
      It’s funny, I worked full time until my youngest was 1. I quit because my grandparents couldn’t take on the full responsibility of caring for him before he went to preschool. My kids have absolutely no recollection of me working full time! Lol! So they’ll get used to it and I’ll figure it out. 🙂 Thanks for the girl power!

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  13. You go get what is your right. He owe’s it to you so he can suck it if he doesn’t like it.

    And on a different note, how in the world did I stop following you? I decided to check on you when l see this and I didn’t have it on my feed and then I noticed the follow button. What the …?

    Anyways, all corrected, following again 🙂

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    • Lol! He can suck it! I love all the girl power I’m getting!

      I didn’t notice but it’s funny you mention it because this has happened to me a few times with people. I wasn’t sure if I was inadvertently doing it with my clumsy fingers. But then a few others complained of the same thing. I think it’s a WP or WP app issue. 🙂 xo

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    • It is. But I think it was harder several months back. Frankly, at this point, I’m looking forward to it. I think because we’ve been living separate lives for over a year now. As father to my kids, I know he’ll always be involved. 🙂

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  19. When you work full time, will it be in teaching? Are you certified now, or do you still have more work to do before then? In most ways, it’s a great profession to have with a family (we all had a snow day today) but I have to admit that, sometimes, my reserve of patience can be used up before I get to my own kids.

    I find it helpful not to teach the same age as my children. I teach middle school and my kids are between 4-10.

    Good luck with everything!

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    • Hi!!! How nice to learn more about you. 🙂

      So, yes, I was considering teaching due to the schedule. I really want to be home more than what I was when I was in real estate. (I just need one more certification to be done.) I was aiming for middle school for the exact same reason you say! My kids will soon be 4&7 and every time I sub for elementary, I’m worn out beyond belief.
      Thank you for the solid advice and well wishes. I really appreciate it! ❤️

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  21. Phoenix says:

    Wishing you luck and praying heavily for you. I hate asking my ex for anything because you never know which side of their personality you will get. But you are strong and you will be alright either way!

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    • Thanks, my friend. You couldn’t have said it any better… “You never know which side of their personality you will get.” Soooo true! And that’s where my nervousness lies. Let’s see. 🙂 Many thanks for the prayers and luck. You’re so kind hearted, it really comes through in all you write and share. 😘

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  22. When you do your divorce agreement make sure you include adjustments to child support at least every 3 years. You should ask for his tax returns. Also consider the impact of one or both of you moving out of state or some long distance. You can agree to it verbally or write it in if you want. Lastly consider college funding for your children. I had a 65 / 35 deal with my ex. It worked out well enough, and child support should go through 21 if they attend full time university. Head and heart at times like this. The law considers divorce adversarial, but it can be amicable too …

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  23. Good luck! Your kids are still young and the benefit from having you NOT going into full-time work now can’t be ignored (especially while going through divorce). My youngest is 6 and I personally feel that’s too young to leave her at before- and after-school care, so, after 10 years of stay-at-home-mummy, I was lucky enough to get part-time work. I hope Grayheart sees that this isn’t about the money!

    PS: LOVE the jpeg 🙂

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  25. Hello DivorceWithMe!
    Because I really like your blog, I have nominated you for “The Versatile blogger award”! You can read all about it in my latest blog post: https://survivednarc.wordpress.com/2016/03/08/the-versatile-blogger-award/

    There is no pressure to participate, it’s just fun if you do (on your own time schedule). It simply entails writing a blog post just like mine (but changing your “facts” and “nominations”, of course). Congratulations on being a great blogger! Hugs /SurvivedNarc.

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