Breaking my own rules…

Let me just start of by saying that after such a crappy day Wednesday, Thursday turned out to be better.  Weird, but much better.

We are trying a weekly Thursday night dinner routine as a whole family so Grayheart came over for dinner. I cooked us up a delicious meal of churrasco (grilled skirt steak Nicaraguan style), salad and corn on the cob.  It went over fabulously.

We did the night routine with the kids and afterward caught up on house and schedule stuff.  He then all of a sudden asked me if I had a date Friday night!  (I don’t but I sure as hell was not going to tell him what my Friday night plans were!)  I wouldn’t answer the question, which drove him batty.  That somehow gave him the courage to start complimenting me on my appearance and share how turned on he was by me.  And then he kept on with the verbal diarrhea by asking me if I missed our lovemaking, etc., etc.

OKAY.  I WAS WEAK.

After much aggressive pursuit, one thing led to another and all I know is I went from the kitchen to the bedroom.  (Man, I swore I would not do this!). But it was fine.  Nothing mind blowing but certainly hit the spot. (I have needs, dammit!)  My dry spell goes back to mid November (with him) and it was a goodbye lovemaking session before he moved out.

Can I confess that I loved busting out a set of condoms for him to use?  We haven’t used condoms since… well, since 2002.  I’m not on the pill and I recently bought some Trojans to keep just in case he ever snooped, he’d think I was active.  (Which I’m not but still. It worked, didn’t it?)  I loved the look of surprise on his face when I took them out of the purse I take out partying.

So now I’m reflecting back on last night.  I was not myself during our session. I was guarded and I felt like I was with a different man.  My needs were purely physical.  I am a bit disappointed that I didn’t just send him packing before I let him seduce me but I’ve been so in need of human touch these days!  I don’t know if he sensed my disconnect but I quickly jumped in the shower and then he announced he would take off to avoid anything being “weird.”  I couldn’t agree more.

Strangely enough, I think (I hope) that this has helped create distance for me in an emotional way.  There just wasn’t that same bond or love there. I’m just perplexed that I have such little feeling over the whole experience.

So much for a 2015 being a year of abstinence, lol!

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11 thoughts on “Breaking my own rules…

        • Thanks… He’s an idiot. But i’m finding myself through this process and will come out better. And he’ll live with his dumb choices for the rest of his life.
          I’m going out tonight! Maybe i’ll find a cutie that’ll perk my interest, lol!
          Am going for a nice run tomorrow, too. What’s on your agenda? How is your injury?

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        • FLRunnerBoy says:

          They’ll be fortunate if you give them the time 😉 my leg is still fairly tight but getting better. This week is the most running I’ve done in a few weeks. I can run just not at the speed I’ve gotten used too. This weekend that that’s makes that statement I just mentioned is coming into town to bury is grandfather so that’s a part of my weekend. The Gasparilla parade is tomorrow in Tampa but I usually stay away from there, and I might catch some of the super bowl

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        • Lol, thanks!
          Glad your leg is getting better. Injuries for an active person can be so incredibly frustrating…
          Im sorry to hear about your grandfather. 😦 Hope you get to enjoy bonding with family at least.

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