Is Raggedy really gone?

I’m up far too late tonight.  And although I’m exhausted, I can’t stop tossing and turning in my bed.  Grayheart and I were chatting today.  I was making an attempt to be nice to him since we had a long conversation yesterday on how our interactions have been pretty negative as of late.

So he then drops this little bit of information on me… he claims he will not continue to see Raggedy Ann.

Um, excuse me? Did I hear that right?

My instant reaction was shock and then I immediately inquired why.

His response?  Something along the lines of life being too complicated to date anyone.  Between kids, a divorce, work, travel, trying to buy a house… it’s just not the right time to date anyone.  (The idiot realizes this now? Really? REALLY?!)

I dropped the whole topic by saying I had nothing to else to say.  (I held my tongue, I’m very proud.)  I can’t decide if I flat out don’t believe him or if she got sick of him not being an available boyfriend or if he got tired of her.  (I will say that I notice he’s been staying at his new place this past week.)

I’ll back up just for a second, though.  In my conversation yesterday with him regarding my ice queen treatment, I told him that things would never be “normal” between us as long as that tart was in his life.  Not saying this influenced his decision in any way but the whole thing is just odd.

I know, dear reader, you’re probably yelling at me that it shouldn’t matter.  That I’ve probably put too much emphasis on her rather than him.  You’re right, it doesn’t really matter.  Our status will not change.  But I might start to not hate him as much.  And I might actually be able to treat this whole divorce process as something that’s “irretrievably broken.”  (Phrase straight from the FL divorce paperwork.)  Not the complicated, stringy mess of another woman’s influence.

And maybe it’s all a ruse so that I’m nicer to him.  Jury’s still out.  I guess only time will tell.

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27 thoughts on “Is Raggedy really gone?

    • Oh heck yeah! You are so right. But it might even be that she dumped him and he’s trying to act like he’s the one that’s making the decision. (Although I think she likes him much more than he does her.) OR he’s just straight up lying. Either way, she’s crazy, he’s dumb and I’m better off than both of them, right? 😉

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    • Thanks, Debra. If i were to step back and see around the hurt, i’d be sympathetic. That’s probably why I am trying my best to not use anger to control our situation. He’s a wonderful father, he’s just screwed up as a man/husband. The break up of the family has really torn him up. Unfortunately, he’ll have to reap what he sowed. Just a shame that his actions affect so many… :/

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  1. My parents divorced, and it was a bit like you, the classic story, another women, cheating, making crazy decisions. He was giving more to her than to his children. It was painful, there were tears and fights. After a while, he left the other girl, he realized it wasn’t right. The men always regret it. And 2 years after divorcing, my mum and dad went back together. They are not living together, but see each other 4 days a week. Sometimes, the divorce is something that has to be done in a couple, for everyone to be happy.

    I think it matters, him leaving the other girl. It’s important to be able to sort out the mess.

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    • Hi Gin – it’s very interesting to hear a quick version of your youth. And i’m fascinated that your parents got back together. It’s so bizarre how after so many years, one person can just lose total faith. It never is worth it yet you so often hear that you had to lose the person to appreciate them. Go figure.
      Did your parents actually remarry? Or they just resumed their relationship? It’s incredible that they found the right equation to make it work. If you don’t mind me asking, how did you (and siblings) handle it? How old were you guys when it happened?
      Thank you for the great words of support and sharing your wxperience. I couldnt agree with you more about needing to be able to sort through this without the additional distraction. It’s amazing how much anger it instantly took away from me. Now it’s duller and I am focused on the reasons we are incompatible. I hope it continues like this! Faster path to healing, hopefully. 🙂
      Take care!! 🌼

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      • I was 14 years old, I was a teenager, and.. I must say it was hard. I wasn’t doing great in school because it was very difficult to concentrate during exams when my parents were keeping yelling at each other all the time. I started a depression as well. When they thought I wasn’t hearing their quarrels, I was hearing them and I was crying in my bed. They were too preoccupied by their problems and themselves, and it wasn’t a happy time. Children are very sensitive about parents quarrels, even if they pretend to not care. Now, I love both my parents, and we got along very well. I don’t hold grudges, it made me being the person I am today. I’m ok with it. But it was tough, I won’t lie to you.

        My parents are divorced, and they did not remarry. They are living in two different places. On Wednesday and from Friday to Sunday, they are staying together, but on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, my dad is spending time in his place. It’s weird, but it works. They couldn’t stand living together all the time, it was not possible anymore.

        Now, when my dad is talking about my mum to random people, he says “my wife” even if they are not legally married. They are really happy like that, all the family is happy. Sometimes, you need to go through horrible stuff to make the bond stronger. And my dad realized he would never find someone like my mum and that he made a terrible mistake (it took him several years, men can be very slow :p). And he came back, restarted a courtship.

        Life is weird. But what is meant to happen will happen. At the end, everything will be alright. Everything is always alright. You will suffer, you will cry, but whatever the outcome is, happiness is still reachable. You have to believe that.

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